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Forum > Experiences, Anecdotes and Funny Misunderstandings > HC is NOT a dating service!!!
#0 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 4:28:09
catflower
Moskva
Russian Federation
It seems that spring is in the air and hospitality club is not an exception. 

Unceasing stream of "flirting" messages each day fills my mailbox (the smartest
ones write me directly to my e-mail or add in MSN). I already established my
personal nomination "the letter of the day" - for the most horny, unlogical and
weird letter. I'm not against intercultural friendship and communication, but
these guys definitely not looking for a friendship!!! They dont have any common
intellectual interests with me and usually start conversation with "Do u have a
webcam?", "I want to know u more/better!" or "can i see more photos of u?" (3
most popular beginnings of conversation). Cool, eh? 
Even after i wrote down in my profile "pls, no flirting spam - hc is not a
dating service!" i continue to receive all this crappy messages from the males
all other the world. Btw, it was more or less understandable when i was "spamed"
by males from eastern and asian countries, but now Europe almost outrun both
Asia and East. 
What the hell is wrong?! Can u see naked photos of me in my profile? No! And u
know, why? There are no naked photos of me in my profile!!!  Why then all this
males continue to spam me EVERY day?! And they even dont consider it as a spam.
"I just wanted to talk with u!". Awesome.

Sorry for such angry post, but it's really not funny anymore. All this crap
really distorts the idea of hospitality club for me. It's not what i expected
when had signed this community.

Btw, i wonder if moderators will delete this post according to Forum Rules
paragraph #3. But i'm not talking about particular case - it's general
situation. And if we want to make HC better place, we should discuss negative
aspects also.

So, lets state the question this way (actually it's question to females
hc-members): how you deal with this situation?
Reply
#56 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 06 Apr 06 18:38:31
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
Annette, what if I get hitched in Ireland????? Nah kiddin. I'll be on a
shoe-string budget for most of the year (leave-wise) cuz I'm already using most
of my available leave for May/June. I'm keeping some days for when I'll get
itchy feet and would need to go to Europe again.

pffff no. I'm not making a plan; just thinking aloud!

So much to do: places to go, people to meet and not enough time. baaaaaah
Caesar
Reply
#57 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 06 Apr 06 19:33:51
annette10827
Stuttgart
Germany
Poor Caesar!
If I could I'd pass a few days/weeks of my still left 12 months leave over to
you. ;-)
Annette
Reply
#58 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 10 Apr 06 7:41:26
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
I didn't mention catflower's observation :::: its more or less understandable
shen she's spammed by males from eastern and Asian countries

Do I understand your word understandable as your choice of spammers? Do you
prefer being spammed by Asian or Eastern guys or have I missed the proverbial
read between the lines in your statement?

Would really to read your comments
Tschuess
Caesar

Reply
#59 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 10 Jun 06 11:14:36
loops
Venezia
Italy
hey cat! i have the same problem and it hurts me a lot. i wrote to hc abuse,
that is made for that but till yet the profiles of these member are still on
hc...so, is hc a dating site? these people don't mind about friendship or about
cultural exchanges! taht should be the hc's spirit! they just aks for fotos or
chat with u on cam...it's painfull and i don't think i have to take off my
picture or my msn address cause for other people who really needs a help or an
accomodation
Reply
#60 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 20 Jun 06 12:17:59
armenio28
Málaga
Spain
Hello, 
  I dont think that HC must be used like dating site, but I think that everyone
is free for using it as they want, but always respecting other people (in my
case, I dont use it for dating and anybody disturbed me in that way  -jejeje-).

  But if someone writes to you and ask you for your photos, for chatting with
camera or for flirting, I think you just have to ignore them if you dont want to
have a flirting story. 
  Anyway, I know about some HC members (actives and not actives) that have had
romantic and beautiful romances with other HC members, so...what is the problem
here?? I think there is not problem at all in using HC as you prefer (and I mean
as a dating site too....if both members are interested in using it like that!).

  So, my conclusion is that the principal idea of HC must not be a dating site,
but everyone can use it as they prefer.....And of course, RESPECT to other
members is the secret!
   Regards from warm Andalucia!
   Jose Manuel
Reply
#61 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 27 Jun 06 13:23:27
greenelf
Berlin
Germany
Ouf, this problem is still actual.
I'm a new member in the HC ( only 5 weeks ), but I have already been attacked
from spammers an daters! When I asked them maybe you want me to help you or to
host you, they answered me "no" and then was the silence... I have deleted all
of them, because if you want to talk with me, if we have the same interests, if
you want me to be your friend -  you're welcome( I have some experience on it:)
Sometimes you look through the profiles and understand that this person really
interests you! 

To catflower and others: check profiles of these ppl and if they still cheese
off you - put "good" comments for them:)

Antispam Co.
Reply
#62 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 27 Jun 06 13:47:59
greenelf
Berlin
Germany
PS: The most stupid question from daters was "Where are you from?" or "Who are
you in the HC?" :) 
Reply
#63 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 28 Jun 06 14:17:22
genova
Genova
Italy
Hi Catflower,

I had a similar problem at the beginning, now it's finish... what I do? Simple I
remove my photo and I remove my date of birth. Some man till now try to flirt by
just a few, one two by month no more....

It's easy!

Cheers

Elisa
Reply
#64 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 28 Jun 06 14:34:58
genova
Genova
Italy
Oohh... just now Catflower I saw you have in your profile the msn adress... of
course every day some man dating you, I give mine just if someone ask to me and
his profile is with good comments...

In this place there are so many people, so many men from all over the world with
different culture, what do you think about? i choose my way becouse is obvious
that some man try to dating if you have in your profile photo and msn adress...

Cheers

Elisa
Reply
#65 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Jul 06 23:06:10
sheenalizp
Cambridge
Canada
Well,  I actually think it is funny, all the spam I get. 

The bad spelling mistakes, the desperation in the veiled plea of, what - I don't
actually know.  Is it Horniness? Lonliness? Isolation? Do they have leprocy and
are hideiously disfigured but are still able to type, the only thing left in
their lives?

 What I do, (since you are going to get it anyway) is I change my pic once in a
while, just to see if there is a difference in where it is coming from.   The
last one brought quite a few from Canada and the US, previously unchartered
spamming territory for me.  It is fun to see that my life is not bad as you
sometimes feel when you are down.  It could always be worse,  I could be a
spammer! LOL

Sheen.
Reply
#66 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Jul 06 13:04:52
ginger4u
Berlin
Germany
Catflower, thank you for speaking out!
Reply
#67 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Jul 06 13:12:59
ginger4u
Berlin
Germany
Just to add, giving in to "make yourselves ugly" sounds a lot to me
like...dunno, don a chador???  Actually in real life I  found out if you are
(made to look) uglier, it makes more sleazy people come forward ( as opposed to
the  only moderately sleezy) who think you must be really desperate then.
Tellihng people ( spammers) for long hous on ends about one's emotional and
financial problems however aids in getting ridd of some...
Reply
#68 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 10 Jul 06 14:00:28
thaisdefrance
Lyon
France
You look like to be an good looking girl, so maybe it's better if you change
your picture. I decide to not put any picture of me like that I avoid flirting
message.
Reply
#69 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 11 Jul 06 22:57:58
nbrazilian
London - City of London
United Kingdom
every now and again, my dancing-baby gets some naughty emails. His nappies &
swing help lots. Im getting jealous :(((((

Reply
#70 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 14 Jul 06 23:35:26
orfeus
Arcadia
United States of America

somebody can suggest me a good dating site ???????????
Reply
#71 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 15 Jul 06 4:13:16
docgiupino
Milano
Italy
hey! sh*t! I was pretty sure that HC was a dating site!!! what the hell am I
doing here??? and so stupid I was... just invited Catflower at my home for 5
days.... mmm, I started to suspect that it's not a dating site cause she didn't
jump into my bed immediately, and nor in my shower. And when 2 other girls from
Estonia arrived, there was not a big orgy as hoped in my naughtiest
fantasies...
it was hot at my flat, but just due to weather conditions in milan I guess...
I still have tonight, but it's already 4.11 am and tomorrow she's leaving at 6
am... maybe I will have my 3 minutes of sex---

and if not, I will definitively change to CS... that's a great dating site!!!

:-D
(that's all Folks! :D and I was joking)

Lorenzo
Reply
#72 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 15 Jul 06 16:15:07
orfeus
Arcadia
United States of America

 Is Lorenzo the tipical...................." Italic Macho " ????

 Or just has a psico problem between the fantasies and the reality ???
Reply
#73 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 15 Jul 06 17:55:15
docgiupino
Milano
Italy
I hope you got that I was joking, and, by the way, the first part was
Catflower's "production", cause she was next to me in the meanwhile. Just to
underline that I was really joking....
Doc
Reply
#74 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 15 Jul 06 22:12:47
evecooper
Rīga
Latvia
No, no.... everybody is so serious in here.... member: sheenalizp the most
serious in some other thread!!!

Always serious
Miss Cooper
Reply
#75 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 16 Jul 06 15:06:24
dangaroo
Warszawa
Poland
If it's not a dating site why does natjv keep on grabbing my ass.. pah,
mischevious little red head!
Reply
#76 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 20 Jul 06 17:42:38
sheenalizp
Cambridge
Canada
Haha, true true evecooper.

Be careful with your jokes, as you may be caught by the `forum king` and have
some unkind words written to you (even though you say it is a joke in your
post.....but seriously....) 

But really though, we claim that HC is not a dating site, and yeah the spam is
annoying a little offensive.  But, on the other hand how many active members
have not ahem, dated, another HC member?   Interesting question.  I myself have
had a committed relationship made possible by HC and can think of many others
without difficulty who have also met through HC.  

So, is it only free accomodation?  Getting to see the country you are visiting
through the eyes of a native?  Or is it also a way for people with similar
interests/lifestyles to meet when otherwise they may have not?

Sheen
Reply
#77 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 20 Jul 06 20:28:39
nbrazilian
London - City of London
United Kingdom
yeah...
__________________HC   =    OPEN MINDED PEOPLE  =  SWEET___________


Nbraz "outdated" :-PP
Reply
#78 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 23 Jul 06 17:08:00
vivida
Schwerin
Germany
Of course after you met on a party or due to accomodation setting everything can
happen (and happens as proved above!).

But still its very important to underline 'HC is not a dating site'. People
couldn't trust in HC, if not sure, there contact information is handled with
care and no one is thinking of sex, when getting a request. And that's what
makes HC working: that ppl trust eachother without really knowing eachother.

I personal have no problem with spam. The few mails and instant messages I got
were easy to ignore. But I like the idea, that there is the possibility to let
the spam checkers check the mails, if it becomes a problem.
Reply
#79 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 24 Jul 06 21:42:28
tamsuma
Kaunas
Lithuania
so..ok, never use it as a dating site or any similar stuff, but now surfing in
forum´s threads remembered the welcoming message of the club ``Hospitality
club...bringing people together``..any clue how can a newbie understand these
words?=) the harm of the words =) but i´m not a justice =) so, enjoy without
dates!

peace,

aiste
Reply
#80 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 25 Jul 06 9:09:57
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
Aiste, no date??? sigh.

Hey, how much more normal can life get? You spend time with somebody: the vibes
are great. You go out together and do stuff: visiting interesting places,
sharing meals, going out for a drink..... 

Where exactly is the dating service aimed at???? I mean, if I went out on a
date, I'd go for a drink, for dinner, a movie and stuff like this: exactly what
I'd do with a host/guest/hc member.

Sooooo, have I missed a point? Or am I not seeing the trees from the forest?
help help please, enlightened ones.
Thanks
Caesar
Reply
#81 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 25 Jul 06 11:12:24
willembrouwer
Rotterdam
Netherlands
Hey Ceasar !

You have a point there, but you should also understand that that's not what this
thread was aiming at. You probably would agree that HC is not a sex-dating
service...

Concerning having sex with another HC-er; it seems normal to me that it can
happen (such happens everywhere where people meet), but it should NEVER be an
objective !!!! 

Take care,
Willem (who, by the way, has a lovely girlfriend)
Reply
#82 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 25 Jul 06 11:58:12
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
Hey Willem,

First of all: congratulations on having a lovely girlfriend !!:-))

Its always been strange how people can have SEX as an objective to a friendship.
Oh man....... This is like putting the cart before the horse! But yeah like you
said: we shouldn't lose track that life is NORMAL and its NORMAL for stuff to
happen~~~

Agreeing that hc is NOT a sex-dating service is not a probability. I agree we're
definitely NOT. The reason we have this club is for more beautiful reasons (dont
get me wrong; sex is a beautiful thing too~~) but .. u get my drift dontcha?

Cheers
Caesar
Reply
#83 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 25 Jul 06 15:16:58
gabitgn
Kichijoji (Musashino-shi)
Japan
And you know the last shit thing about this?

A great friend of mine went out from HC, in just 2 weeks of being in HC she
recieved such quantity of porposals for date and sex... and none to host or for
information about the city where she lives. So her deduction was that this
wasn't the place for her. I tried to convince her not to leave but then arrived
to her more ridicolous petitions to have a date.

Now we lost a great HCer and I don't feel so good about that.

Anyway, at last, we continue being friends.

Gabriel
Reply
#84 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 25 Jul 06 16:07:16
mkc
Jičín
Czech Republic
Feel sorry that she left HC....

Well, HC is not sex-dating service and in my eyes its pretty silly sending all
these shit messages, proposals or whatever,I can imagine who are experts for
that,Ive met couple of girls through HC and most of them complained about guys
from some concrete countries...Im not gonna name them..for instance my profile
is usually visited lets say 10 times a day by the guys from those countries,my
nick doesnt say if Im male or female:) Nobody of them asked me for host or
help...just never..

On the other hand, if you meet somebody through HC, spend some time together and
you feel that there is a mutual affection...the walls of friendship can be
broken in that case......it just happens,everybody is only human being:-P





Reply
#85 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 27 Jul 06 11:43:15
acidrongeur
Toulouse
France
hello;

I haven't read the whole subject but doesn't the volunteer spam check filter out
dating things ?
if not they should add a "prude spam check" option. =)
  
Reply
#86 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 27 Jul 06 12:10:23
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
@acidrongeur True french response. But hey, read thru and you'll find the
comments very interesting.
Reply
#87 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 27 Jul 06 14:24:47
acidrongeur
Toulouse
France
@purplesage hihi :) OK I now did read the thread, but I was joking about the
prude thing and didn't intended my post to be a reponse but a question:

What is the spam checking legacy regarding flirting messages ? 

regards
Franck
Reply
#88 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 27 Jul 06 14:46:00
nbrazilian
London - City of London
United Kingdom
hey, i have a lovely girlfriend too  ;)))

Nbraz
Reply
#89 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 27 Jul 06 17:08:09
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
Franck,
That's a BIG question. Maybe Nbraz can throw in his two red cents on this topic
;)
huh dude?
Caesar
Reply
#90 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 27 Jul 06 23:06:07
prima
Magdeburg
Germany
Hmm, I think I recently joined the army of unfortunate HC-members receiving
strange messages;-))) 
First was a request for an invitation (oh God I'm a non-working student, do they
really think I am a Bill Gates' daughter or so to send an invitation to everyone
who needs it...) 
then some messages like "Hi, I wanna see you, can you visit me, waiting for your
answer.." to be honest, I find this quite funny but do not even want to know
what the author meant... and he has to wait for my answer... far tooooooo
long;-))) 
I rather feel sorry for the people doing that. Maybe they are too lonely... or
have problems with sex? 
Reply
#91 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 28 Jul 06 8:50:56
leopoldr
Bamberg
Germany
Hello Maria!

Just one question: Did you receive that spam through the HC message option?
(Must be, as you have no mail address on your profile?) 
Unless somebody feels sorry for you because he is afraid you are stuck under a
train?? ;-)
CU,
Christian 
Reply
#92 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 28 Jul 06 9:24:40
prima
Magdeburg
Germany
Hi Christian, I think you have already answered your question ;-))) Right,
that's why there is no mail adress on my profile... but I think you already have
it, though;-)
Hey, don't you like my photo??? *lol*
Reply
#93 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 28 Jul 06 9:39:41
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
I've just looked at prima = Maria's profile for the first time! I think the
picture is nice. The train looks good but wow Maria looks ON TOP OF THE WORLD
:-) (no pun intended).

Have fun, u two
Caesar
Reply
#94 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 28 Jul 06 10:14:56
prima
Magdeburg
Germany
well... HC is not a dating site... is it a flirting one? ;-))))
Reply
#95 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 28 Jul 06 10:25:28
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
Nice question Maria; but then.. is there a big difference between the two? :-))
Reply
#96 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 28 Jul 06 10:41:21
luska
Ås
Norway
wherever there are lots of people there will always be this
love-hate-date-flirt-etc stuff ;)
Reply
#97 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 28 Jul 06 10:49:25
mkc
Jičín
Czech Republic
Absolutely agree with @luska...

Generally said HC is not a dating site, but also not celibacy club;-D
Reply
#98 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 05 Aug 06 10:34:00
pete0pete0land
Helsinki
Finland
!!!! I LOVE THIS THREAD !!!! :-))))))))))

MAY I PUT MY OWN POST HERE LATER ON...? ;-)))

THANKS EVERYONE OF MAKING OUR LIFES A BIT EASIER AND CLEAR... :-0

DUKE 

ps. HC is NOT DATING SIDE!!! - WHY??? - CAUSE YOU CAN'T SEARCH/SORT MEMBERS BY
JUST USING STRATEGICAL NUMBERS (and I don't mean zip code ) - I have tryied
toooooooo many times without success ;-)))   

Reply
#99 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 05 Aug 06 23:39:05
mayor
London - City of Westminster
United Kingdom
i love it as well.....

how i like attending to hc meetings.....ohhh
Reply
#100 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 06 Aug 06 16:52:42
criirsara
Badia/Abtei
Italy
what I don't understand is why some profiles that have nothing to do with Hc
aren't deleted or that member is not asked by the voluteers to change some
things on his profile....
Just look at this profiles: contattosrl and bimbolena......, mmm, they have
really understood the philosophy of Hc....:-)
I wrote to abuse about one of them, but nothing happened, and this was the year
ago..


about the date-non date-sex matters I agree with the what most people in this
thread have said...
Sex should not be a clear objective of a member, that has nothing to do with Hc,
I see so many profiles of men that host only female...., and I don't think that
most of them do it just because they love it so much to just communicate with
girls:-)))) rather than with a man...:-))
And there are also lots of men that are looking only for female hosts (maybe
some girls will do the same thing...).....
I think a Hc member should not make any difference betwees the two sexes when
meeting and hosting (even if I can understand some girls hosting only girls),
then surely, when people meet there can always be more than just communication,
friedship, some time together...., men are allowed to flirt, but not to harrass
girls and just try to use the position as host....
Reply
#101 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 07 Aug 06 20:21:47
soleiman
Lausanne
Switzerland
Dear Cat flower , 
 u ´re a so beautiful young woman , it is what we can  see first when we´re
opening yr profile ...

change yr pic and download the one of yr grand-mother , or whatever u like ...

people will " judge " only about what u say...

but i agree , this sort of harcelment should stop ...

i´m suffering myself....ah ah ah 

Philippe
Reply
#102 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 07 Aug 06 21:46:56
nbrazilian
London - City of London
United Kingdom
you aint alone Philippe:PPPP
Reply
#103 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 10 Aug 06 19:29:00
acidrongeur
Toulouse
France
this thread is an advertisement for Cat flower :)
Reply
#104 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 14 Aug 06 0:33:04
darius2
New York City - Brooklyn
United States of America
this works both ways unfortunately :(

i am a turkish boy, and i am not interested in dating any girls at all.

however, because of the bad fame of other turkish members, i never get any
responses through this website.. never... and even if i do, the women members
have an angry tone... it's not hospitable at all.

it feels kind of bad. but i can understand what they are thinking :(
Reply
#105 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 14 Aug 06 1:22:21
sertaco
Rotterdam
Netherlands
stereotypes are nooooooooooooo good, especially on the internet! And i dont
think in a high-quality medium like HC people may accuse each other because of
their nationality. 

If that is the situation i can say english are hooligans, americans are stupid
and israelis are murderer which is not true!
Reply
#106 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 17 Aug 06 1:34:16
hardy8
New Delhi
India
K this is getting funny I guess.A gal from Russia is so angry because she is
spammed by guys(thank god she also included European guys or else its always
eastern and middle-east guys being blamed)

Why did no one mentioned the famous spams of russian gals who will send you some
pics and reason that they want to change their country and looking for partner ?
I get these kinda spams sometime.Did this girl ever try to think this fact ? Did
she think that many gals go to other countries to have 'fun' ?

But since we are guys we are not supposed to blame if we get spams by gals.

Is it a new thing that a gal is annoyed by guys wanting to be friend or
something more ,be it in real or on internet ? This is a common thing.Why make
such a hue and cry ? lol I guess there are many gals here who get spammed like
that.

World is not a small place now in age of internet.There would be people who
might contact you.Its upto you who do you want to be friend,GROW UP.It doesnt
matter if you go to HC or any other site but if you are a girl then you are
supposed to get these kinda spams.

And I think Vikingbeard and Purplegease has a good point when they says that
there could be many here who went ahead of just friendship from HC.

What do you say people ?
Reply
#107 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 18 Aug 06 5:26:03
graceful585
Sonoita
United States of America
Boy, I would have been here for days if I had to read through this entire topic.
 I was glad to see someone post it because having only been on here as a member
for a few short weeks I ended up removing my MSN logon name from my profile
because I was getting solicitations from some different members. 

What struck me as funny was that they didn't even read any part of my profile
because if they had they would have seen my traveling companion is my husband.
So, I just posted on my profile in the very first line that I was not here for
ROMANCE...LOL...and I removed my hotmail address.

So, I'm just glad that this service is available for those of us who are here
for the right reasons...but I guess there's always going to be those few who
create other benefits for themselves by using it for a totally different
service...to each his own.
Reply
#108 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 18 Aug 06 7:59:26
tenetsi
Tuusula
Finland
@Graceful and others

Believe me, mentioning that you are married and not looking for a romance
doesn't stop these internet wankers contacting you in a purpose of looking
"friendship" even if you wrote it with all caps and with hundred exclamation
marks. My wife has done it in both HC profile and in her MSN message. No help.
These guys from countries I am not going to mention here are contacting her
every day. I am really sorry women start to behave differently because of this
disgusting phenomena. I am also sorry that my wife now feels disgusted right
away when she saws a name which looks like a name from certain countries and
right from the beginning she talks them with angry tone (if she decides to
accept the MSN contact). She would like to meet some day some NORMAL guy from
those countries. So far all have been guys with a following approach:

*Guy sends a request to add him to Vera's MSN*
*Vera denies*
*Guy sends a request to add him to Vera's MSN*
*Vera denies*
*Guy sends a request to add him to Vera's MSN*
*Vera denies*
.......
*After 20 attempts Vera gets tired and accepts*
*Guy: Hello*
*Vera: Hi*
*Guy: Hi my friend*
*Vera: I am not your friend, who are you?*
*Guy: HC member*
*Vera: OK*
*Guy: Do you have cam?*
*Vera: Yes*
*Guy sends a request to turn it on*
*Vera denies it*
*Guy: Accept!*
*Vera: No*
*Guy: Accept*
*Vera: No*
*Guy: Why? Accept*
*Vera: NO, I DONT WANT TO*
*Guy: Why?*
*Vera: It is only for my friends*
*Guy: We can be friends*
*Vera: Do you know, hospitality club is not for dating and if you didn't see, I
am not looking for romance and I am married, I have no interest to spend my days
chatting people like you who can't understand I am not interested*
*Guy: You are rude!*
*Vera: Yes, I am if needed*
*Connection closed, guy blocked*

This is just something I remembered from those conversations and sometimes it is
much worse than this. And this happens almost every day. GUYS, whats the F****
wrong with you? Do these wankers really think that by sitting all days long in
the internet coffees and hunting for open webcams they will eventually get laid?
Get a life... I don't want to be rude against any nationality but it begins to
be a LITTLE tiring that there is just a loads of shit coming from there through
the net all the time. Next time when they ask to see Vera in cam I will sit
there with my unshaven chin, without shirt, messy hair and a bottle of vodka
with me and we will see if they still want to be friends.

I know this is not only HC site problem. If you put info of yourself in any
internet page there will be the same thing happening.

I guess we here in "West" should be more tolerant and try to understand this,
but cultural understanding must be two ways: It is not appropriate to contact
women in "west" like that, it will have no results and it will cause nothing but
irritation. I don't care about race, religion, sexual orientation or anything
else, I have gay friends, muslims, jews, all sorts but they are my FRIENDS
because they have earned my friendship and I have earned theirs. But this method
of spamming will not lead to friendship. Unfortunately those wankers most likely
don't read this so this is waste of time.

Tomi
Reply
#109 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 18 Aug 06 8:18:14
tenetsi
Tuusula
Finland
@Hardy

I guess this reflects your attitude.

"Is it a new thing that a gal is annoyed by guys wanting to be friend or
something more ,be it in real or on internet ?"

Raping is neither a new thing but people still get shocked by it.

"This is a common thing. Why make such a hue and cry? lol"

Yes, think about it? If something is common should we always accept it or try to
change it?

"I guess there are many gals here who get spammed like that."

Unfortunately. What have you done to stop it?

"World is not a small place now in age of internet. There would be people who
might contact you. Its upto you who do you want to be friend"

Yes, but as we have noticed, friendship is considered to be a different thing in
different cultures. If your first sentence is: "hey friend" it irritates people
here in north. In Finland generally people call friends those people who they
have known for years and with whom they have shared a lot of sorrow and
happiness, who have been there when needed and supported in hard times. Those
people are friends that you can count on without asking. We never call anyone
with a term FRIEND in finnish if you have changed just few words. Never. And if
someone calls you as friend it even can offend, it's like a cheap offer.

"GROW UP.It doesnt matter if you go to HC or any other site but if you are a
girl then you are supposed to get these kinda spams."

Who would need to grow up? Those childish wankers I think. And supposed to get
spam? Really?

Vittu ku vituttaa

Tomi
Reply
#110 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 18 Aug 06 11:12:23
gabitgn
Kichijoji (Musashino-shi)
Japan
And all of this happenes also to the males in HC. Not only to women.

Women are spammed, generally about dating and contacting by men.
Men are spammed, generally about helping disfavoured people.

And another thing that I experienced, when women spam men about dating they are
much more dissembled. And when men spam women they are directly and offensive.

Spaming hugs for all of you!
Gabriel
Reply
#111 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 18 Aug 06 11:40:10
sertaco
Rotterdam
Netherlands
Hello tenetsi,

I just read your comment at the "HC is not a dating site" thread and looked at
your profile. And immediately after i looked at it, i regreted i did. Because
you wrote in CAPS "IF I VISITED YOUR PROFILE IT'S BECAUSE I WANT TO INVITE YOU
TO HC CAMP HELSINKI" which means you think it is a "shame" to look at profiles
without an aim.

Could you tell me what is wrong with looking at a profile? Are you get offended
by it? You think i am a gay since i looked at your profile? Or as a guy if i
look at a woman's profile does this mean i hit on her??? Is this "western"
thought you mentioned in your message??? I dont think so...

And as for the thread, I think "some countries" indication is not nice at all.
Anyone knows my country also in that BLACK LIST. Look, I don't approve this kind
of behaviour in any way and believe me I am the one who wants to get rid of this
hornism from my country more than anyone. And I admit how weird freaks live in
my country and i never defend them. But be cool please, take it easy, don't
blame anyone from anything they didnt do.
cheers
sertac
Reply
#112 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 18 Aug 06 12:04:13
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
@Gabriel and others,
Man....... guys ARE spammed, guyz are hit on........ who said NO?????? OMG@ But
I guess we handle that..... hmmm differently ;)

Sertac; I'm as curious as anyone to know which ones those some countries are.

Caesar
Reply
#113 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 18 Aug 06 12:35:47
sertaco
Rotterdam
Netherlands
Caesar,

Of course I am not the one to answer this question.
But I suppose those who mentioned "some countries" would joyfully answer...

I am sorry if I am being harsh but I cant stand stereotypes,sorry. Especially if
someone come and talk about "names which look like names from certain
countries"... 

And again, I don't approve this kind of behaviour and i am not a nationalist or
smt like that at all...
Reply
#114 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 18 Aug 06 21:23:12
tenetsivera
Jokela
Finland
Well, I didn't really want to rise the problem of spamming here, because it
seems useless and hopeless to me, but Tomi seems to get tired of my complaints
and took them to the forum for me:)

I'll try now to answer for him:)
@ Sertaco- you made an absolutely wrong conclusion about Tomi's note, most
likely you think so yourself - visiting others profiles without purpose is bad,
don't you? Tomi wants just to inform all the people who are going to visit Hki
about our camp. First he was sending personal message to every one, but then he
figured out that this way will save time. And there is nothing wrong looking
into others profiles, believe me we do it very often. So do not try to turn the
point of the topic the whole way round.

The point was that girls (and boys) get pissed and tired of getting absolutely
senseless and even abusive messages from complite strangers, which found HC
site. These messages come only from certain contries and you, guys, know them.
No one told here that ALL adult male population of those contries is doing this,
but as u mentioned yourself there is such a problem. So why we cannot speak up?
Or just because it is not PoliticlyCorrect subject we should shut up? And
listen, I am russian, and all those accusations of russian girls spamming do not
disturb me, because I am not doing this and have never done. So why are you so
overreacting about some wankers spamming from "certain countries"? Well, that
one who wants to get offended, will be offended in any case. So take it easy!

What interests me the most  now is how HC is going to solve this problem,
because warning is not enough.  Will they ignore the complaints and keep
profiles of spammers on site because it keeps the number of members up and this
way lose normal active members (because I am thinking about deleting my profile
already and be just part of tenetsi's profile) or they will start to act? And
again I still think the whole discussion is useless, so I'll just "be cruel"
when next wanker wants to see me on cam.
Reply
#115 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 19 Aug 06 0:30:30
sertaco
Rotterdam
Netherlands
Dear Vera,
Just after you said you are russian I remembered Nazim Hikmet's wife's name was
also Vera. If he was here, think how sad he would be to read all these...

well the problem is to be behaved as though you are a potential pervert! Let me
remind you what your husband wrote, then tell me whether i am right to react or
not.

1-"I am also sorry that my wife now feels disgusted right
away when she saws a name which looks like a name from certain countries and
right from the beginning she talks them with angry tone (if she decides to
accept the MSN contact)."

Seeing my name disgusts you??? So where is the "some of them"???

2-"She would like to meet some day some NORMAL guy from
those countries. So far all have been guys with a following approach:"

no,there is no NORMAL,  kill 'em alll!!! :)))

and reading all these you say dont react??? And you say "i am russian i am not
reacting, why are you?" (implying something?). Let me tell you why: as your
husband said you are even disgusted by my name (Oh Lord should I change my name
:)) ) and I wouldnt know you are russian if you didnt tell me!!  You see the
difference? You get the idea??? I hope!!!




And also do you really think that it is wrong to read someone else's profile???
No way! Sometimes I just get bored and read peoples notes on their profile to
see whether they share something with me, to see if they have same travel plans
like mine (even if I dont have a plan I may want to join them), to see whether
coming close to me or to see whether they can show me around and tell me the ins
and outs of my new city, what  is wrong with this??? Are the profiles private???
Is it obligatory to go to a camp or invite someone to a camp to visit a
profile??? If you really think so be carefull, never misclick a name of a
stranger! (Oh god, what if it is a guy from the BLACK LIST???) Or else you
should face with the consequences. :)))

My suggestion for you, dont use msn. I am famous in an online game and there was
my msn on mypage on that game site. When I became famous tons of people added me
and then i removed it. It is all simple, ok? Give them your msn after they
contact you from HC messaging system if you are sattisfied.  This way you wont
be obliged to talk with "people from certain countries in an angry tone right
from the beginning."  :))) You would see the difference, believe me. 

By the way did I say "shut up"? No way! I never do that. If you think so then I
advice to reread what I wrote. And I didnt even understand your "politically
correct" remark. I dont even see something political here. :) Maybe Im writing
to wrong thread :)))
Reply
#116 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 19 Aug 06 6:37:43
leopoldr
Bamberg
Germany
@tenetsivera 
Vera, I did not go all through this thread. But reading your post, I was
thinking if it may make sense, to have a number for "personal messages sent" on
the side (like the one for total forum posts)? That way (maybe) somebody can be
detected or be visible, as "youngman" from xxx has only few forum posts, but
more than 200 PM's by spamming...? 
(Provided, such an option could be programmed  in the first place??)

Greetings,
Christian :)
Reply

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