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Forum > Experiences, Anecdotes and Funny Misunderstandings > HC is NOT a dating service!!!
#0 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 4:28:09
Russian Federation
It seems that spring is in the air and hospitality club is not an exception. 

Unceasing stream of "flirting" messages each day fills my mailbox (the smartest
ones write me directly to my e-mail or add in MSN). I already established my
personal nomination "the letter of the day" - for the most horny, unlogical and
weird letter. I'm not against intercultural friendship and communication, but
these guys definitely not looking for a friendship!!! They dont have any common
intellectual interests with me and usually start conversation with "Do u have a
webcam?", "I want to know u more/better!" or "can i see more photos of u?" (3
most popular beginnings of conversation). Cool, eh? 
Even after i wrote down in my profile "pls, no flirting spam - hc is not a
dating service!" i continue to receive all this crappy messages from the males
all other the world. Btw, it was more or less understandable when i was "spamed"
by males from eastern and asian countries, but now Europe almost outrun both
Asia and East. 
What the hell is wrong?! Can u see naked photos of me in my profile? No! And u
know, why? There are no naked photos of me in my profile!!!  Why then all this
males continue to spam me EVERY day?! And they even dont consider it as a spam.
"I just wanted to talk with u!". Awesome.

Sorry for such angry post, but it's really not funny anymore. All this crap
really distorts the idea of hospitality club for me. It's not what i expected
when had signed this community.

Btw, i wonder if moderators will delete this post according to Forum Rules
paragraph #3. But i'm not talking about particular case - it's general
situation. And if we want to make HC better place, we should discuss negative
aspects also.

So, lets state the question this way (actually it's question to females
hc-members): how you deal with this situation?
#31 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 22 Mar 06 12:59:54
Come on people,
a girl's (any) picture is of no importance in this case,
she can look just average, she may put a pic of a monkey’s arse in her profile
but when she gives her ids, she will be called, because she is ‘available’
and to (at least try to) have a chat with her is just a mouse click away. Then
he would come up with a question .. do you have a picture ?
If she is hot and stated no ids, well, she might be only 5’ search away, but
that's toooooo far away, and he wonders if she is worth that effort anyway, or
the effort of writting a nice personal message to her, or for God sake, the
effort of reading her profile ?
(If he does write a nice email, well, he deserves a reply :-)

This kind of guys are everywhere so bear with it. 
I apologize if they have had some other divine thoughts instead.

The fact that Catflower also seems to be both cute and interesting doesn’t
really matter here, because I am sure that these guys don’t read profiles at
#32 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 22 Mar 06 13:22:31
United Kingdom
Comming back to ads : as I stated before you can find ads of any kind in any
newspaper ot TV station and it is always said that the newspaper or the TV
station is not responsible for the content of the ads. The same goes to HC.
#33 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 24 Mar 06 17:12:39
well , hi everyone
so i am a latino brazilian guy, 'n i know how it is ...we have kind of blood hot
and always horny (of course in the right way) but i am really upset how ppl from
hc(not all) still keep this stupid attitude to strike girls with words and other
forms of insultin.
i ve seen good things here on hc club,and made good friends and i know
mainly girls suffer this kind of abuse..guys u all believe some boys have send
emails for me and ask stupids things thta i dont need to say it
usual guys to receive e-maisl..?? or jsut girls..i know there are lots of guys
who receive spams as well but it is perhaps shameful say it loudly for
everione...but i dont think this way.. i know what i like ....and i just ignore
such spams and when i use the chat some guys either try to talk to me in other
way ..i am sure u all get what i mean.. and i think it's is stupid..but as the
club is for openminded pll and respectful as well.
i dont care at all..i just think girls have to be careful with guests just's my viewpoint...cheers
#34 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 24 Mar 06 17:20:06
and i am not gayyy lol...
imlove girls but  i am not a fuckin horny who dont respect girls....cheers,
#35 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 24 Mar 06 18:15:08
its always us men who seem to use the HC as a dating site.
please all women looking to date spam me :)
its screwed up, but i honestly don't think changing your photo will be a
solution, it may curb some of the flow but you'll still be nailed with the
stuff. i agree with dan as usual.

thanking whatever diety you believe in, im a bloke.

#36 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 27 Mar 06 1:40:00
My friend is travelling at the moment, using HC to find accommodation. Just one
problem; all female hosts wants to date him. A couple of months ago he wrote

"Hi, I'm in A, staying with a beautiful girl.
Just one problem; she has only one room, and only ONE MATTRESS!! I'm in
celibacy for 16 months, she is gorgeous and smart, I'm horny. Miss X too..."

Today he sent this update:

"I had two girls in B. Total chaos, had to escape to the opposite gender.

5 days in C and I've got two girls here too!
After two days there was "love" between me and my host. Yesterday I went to a
party with 20 other HC-members. My dancing impressed everyone, including miss Y.
Very special she too, and I couldn't resist when she wanted to kiss.
Today we had sex in a staircase behind a mosque - while they were shouting their
prayers all over the city... Crazy crazy, lucky we weren't shot by the police!
This is my favourite girl, I want to meet her again in D, I'm going there
tomorrow with my host!
I'm telling them that I love both, and they respect it..."

I wonder; when I've visited or hosted HC-women - did they expect me to "date"
them? Should I write and tell them I'm sorry I didn't?
#37 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 27 Mar 06 12:04:37
@vikingbeard : 

very funny story, thanks for sharing it.

When I was 14 years old we used to tell these kinds of stories also.

"yeah, that girl from 6th grade is really horny, she goes with all the guys"
"wow, i had three older women last night, it was groovy"

Of course, when I became older these stories turned out to be wishful thinking.
I just hope for your friend that his dreams will come true.

Anyway, I'm sure everybody who reads these kinds of stories, knows that there is
a difference between :

a) when 2 people have mutual feelings on the one hand (which is a good thing
where HC doesn't have anything to say) and 
b) when one party (host or guest) 'forces' a situation (which is a bad thing of

#38 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 28 Mar 06 1:36:48
I feel like a young boy at the HC-school - being forced by the headmaster to
write a hundred times - 

HC is NOT a dating service!!!

hahaha but that's not true...
The story I told is true, and there must be thousands of other successful
dating-stories among the members. Tell yours too!
#39 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 28 Mar 06 2:46:01
oooh viking. when will you behave. surely you´ll get thrown out of the
classroom if you go on like this.
your desk neighbour
p.s. i wish i was a pretty girl. imagine, after class, just the two of us in the
classroom, writing "HC is NOT a dating service!!! " a hundred times, maybe more
.... pooah but take care, our parents must not know. 
#40 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 17:36:31
Let's try to make one whole opinion of our class... :))

torstenphilipp said:
> HC not a dating service? i didn´t know this. 
> what comes next? Maybe: LIFE not a dating service!

It's amazing and -somehow- true!

I would point out that the fact that HC is not a dating site means, IMHO, that
it's not allowed to send emails or to use the contact details of other members
for reasons different than the site purpose, mostly travels, accomodation,
friendship among different cultures and countries.

After the friendship or the meeting begins, anyone knows that the difference
between dating and meeting is very subtle.. ;)

And, as I know, it's true, happen to be a lot of couples, just one kiss, one
night, one week or even married members!

Going back to the original theme, "NOT a dating site", let's say that I never
spammed tons of girls, but sometimes I contacted guys or girls for advice or for
infos or just because their profile was interesting and nobody was angry with

Privetik catflower dorogoja podruga v MSN! :))
#41 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 17:59:37
United Kingdom
Torsten dude, You got me laughing again!! Whacko whacko. But yea, remember that
guy at the museum door selling tickets until like 15 minutes before closing and
he goes  OK this way in, and that's the exit: and please remember NO LOOKING    
  and this entire bunch of idiots went into the museum! haha funny story? Man oh
man. Like saying, you can go fishing but keep your worms and biers with the

If sparks fly when two people meet, how but how could you stop that! And being
spammed by someone.... damn, I'll be so damn pleased I got noticed!


Torsten, I'm going to miss ya in May/June but heck, keep up the good humour lad:
the world is such a stinker without laughter.

#42 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 19:11:51
I agree with @tommato, and with @dj too !

The problem is not a problem - even for later dating stuff - if people behave as
would be polite and/or as is the primary purpose of this club.

Today again, now I really got irritated with a new msncontacting maleperson (he
was being rude and stupid, maybe himself not even quite understanding it). So
now my msn address is not in my profile anymore, it was too easily picked up. 

In fact the best people (and really very lovely they are !) I've 'met' here are
the ones who have contacted me first via HC mail or the ones I have myself
contacted for travellingtips or other non-dating purposes. 

And in my opinion @dj did get it really good..that's it probably for @catflower

#43 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 19:33:41
he ketchupato,
to make "one whole opinion" - where is the hole? 
or do you mean holy? in this case you have forgotten the amen under your post.
#44 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 19:44:18
And I have to make it perfectly clear that the maleperson I was reffering to in
my post was not @torstenphilipp..

#45 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 20:30:27
he telle,
that´s sad for the both of us. but be carefull, your profile picture attracts
me somehow. especially i´m interested in dating one of the cows that are in the
background of the pic (the one with the black butt). i´m gonna watch out for
the first cow hc member, ah no just joking, my parrot will get jealous .

#46 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 04 Apr 06 4:43:24
United Kingdom
@torsten, parrots have crackers to crunch. Cows eat cud. Some people eat their
words (out of circumstances) and some others, live life without any waves.

Behaviour, dating, spamming...... its all the same or what? grrrrr pffffff. Is
burping after a good garlic soup bad manners? Culturally speaking then, its
always the same path. Not the less-travelled route, Ja?

Torsten, starting a revolution sometimes doesn't take banners and such. Right?
hehehe. Do we have to say MONKEY'S LOVE BANANAS, Man? Its OK dude. The world
will learn....
#47 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 04 Apr 06 16:00:17
he caesar, 

you can be cryptic sometimes man.... where did you learn that? are you in the
indian secret service?
i don´t understand a single word. but don´t mind probably everybody else will.

are you in the end making fun? well, you know i´m german i need a special
translator for this.
what was the topic again?

#48 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 04 Apr 06 16:08:15
oh yes, spamming.
i really like to know: How do you, dating spam receivers of the world, interpret
a message as  dating spam or just a "normal" interest in cultural exchange or
something else. what´s your criteria? is there any? 
by now i just got 3 mails via HC that i could interpret with some effort as
dating mail. only one of them was by a girl. mmmhm.... cowardish girls ;-)
#49 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 04 Apr 06 20:43:10
 spamming here.... spamming there......
guys............ most of you..........
 .....take it easy........... you all just males.........
thats the destiny........
i´m sorry...... for all of you.......
but i have some hope that there really some "nice"....... under them...... in
the hole world......
#50 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Apr 06 14:06:05
Did I get something wrong? Not a dating site? :-(
In this case: anybody willing to come to Lisdoonvarna with me in September?
#51 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Apr 06 14:48:06
United Kingdom
Torsten dear buddy, The only secrets I have are the ones known to everyone. Like
why didn't the apple fall to the ground and not shoot off into space!!

Nah man. I was talking from my heart; not in a cryptic sense but ..... like
positive angry. See? When all is lost, blame it on someone. That's how the game
is played by lots of people? So if dating was such a problem for some people;
thats OK too, right? 

But you know what? In this maze of -isms and fuzzy logic, I'm happy I met a dude
like you.... even if it be in cyberspace for the moment.

@Julia: there are those that you speak of: somewhere on this planet. The nice
thing is; like the apple I talked about; they just drop in..... unannounced and
without any red-carpets :)

@Annette, what and where is the thingy you wrote about? plz
#52 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Apr 06 14:49:05
United Kingdom
Yeah Annette, what is Lisdoonvarna?? please?
#53 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Apr 06 15:53:26
Check this site and you'll know:

Lisdoonvarna is in Ireland, in the middle of the Burren, one of Europe's most
unique landscapes.  Good! :-) 
Lisdoonvarna also has a number of pubs with traditional Irish music. Even
better! :-))

But most important and best of all, especially in September: Lisdoonvarna hosts
the annual matchmakers festival and draws singles from all over the world.  A
week of partying and  dating! :-)))


P. S. Your schengen visum is still valid in September, I hope - shit, but you're
married :-(
#54 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 06 Apr 06 8:50:37
United Kingdom
I cant stop laughing.

They make matches in Lisdoonvarna? Big deal. I stopped using them. I prefer
lighters!! hehehehehe.

So yes, I'm married! I mean soooooooooooo????????

Hey the schengen visa is NOT for Ireland. Ireland isn't part of the schengen
states. Its the GREAT (whatteva) Britian.

@everyone. I haven't been to Ireland (((((((yet))))))))))

#55 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 06 Apr 06 9:21:34
Hi Caesar,
great! So we're going to Ireland first, and then on to Bangalore?
#56 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 06 Apr 06 18:38:31
United Kingdom
Annette, what if I get hitched in Ireland????? Nah kiddin. I'll be on a
shoe-string budget for most of the year (leave-wise) cuz I'm already using most
of my available leave for May/June. I'm keeping some days for when I'll get
itchy feet and would need to go to Europe again.

pffff no. I'm not making a plan; just thinking aloud!

So much to do: places to go, people to meet and not enough time. baaaaaah
#57 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 06 Apr 06 19:33:51
Poor Caesar!
If I could I'd pass a few days/weeks of my still left 12 months leave over to
you. ;-)
#58 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 10 Apr 06 7:41:26
United Kingdom
I didn't mention catflower's observation :::: its more or less understandable
shen she's spammed by males from eastern and Asian countries

Do I understand your word understandable as your choice of spammers? Do you
prefer being spammed by Asian or Eastern guys or have I missed the proverbial
read between the lines in your statement?

Would really to read your comments

#59 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 10 Jun 06 11:14:36
hey cat! i have the same problem and it hurts me a lot. i wrote to hc abuse,
that is made for that but till yet the profiles of these member are still on, is hc a dating site? these people don't mind about friendship or about
cultural exchanges! taht should be the hc's spirit! they just aks for fotos or
chat with u on's painfull and i don't think i have to take off my
picture or my msn address cause for other people who really needs a help or an
#60 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 20 Jun 06 12:17:59
  I dont think that HC must be used like dating site, but I think that everyone
is free for using it as they want, but always respecting other people (in my
case, I dont use it for dating and anybody disturbed me in that way  -jejeje-).

  But if someone writes to you and ask you for your photos, for chatting with
camera or for flirting, I think you just have to ignore them if you dont want to
have a flirting story. 
  Anyway, I know about some HC members (actives and not actives) that have had
romantic and beautiful romances with other HC members, so...what is the problem
here?? I think there is not problem at all in using HC as you prefer (and I mean
as a dating site too....if both members are interested in using it like that!).

  So, my conclusion is that the principal idea of HC must not be a dating site,
but everyone can use it as they prefer.....And of course, RESPECT to other
members is the secret!
   Regards from warm Andalucia!
   Jose Manuel
#61 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 27 Jun 06 13:23:27
Ouf, this problem is still actual.
I'm a new member in the HC ( only 5 weeks ), but I have already been attacked
from spammers an daters! When I asked them maybe you want me to help you or to
host you, they answered me "no" and then was the silence... I have deleted all
of them, because if you want to talk with me, if we have the same interests, if
you want me to be your friend -  you're welcome( I have some experience on it:)
Sometimes you look through the profiles and understand that this person really
interests you! 

To catflower and others: check profiles of these ppl and if they still cheese
off you - put "good" comments for them:)

Antispam Co.
#62 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 27 Jun 06 13:47:59
PS: The most stupid question from daters was "Where are you from?" or "Who are
you in the HC?" :) 
#63 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 28 Jun 06 14:17:22
Hi Catflower,

I had a similar problem at the beginning, now it's finish... what I do? Simple I
remove my photo and I remove my date of birth. Some man till now try to flirt by
just a few, one two by month no more....

It's easy!


#64 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 28 Jun 06 14:34:58
Oohh... just now Catflower I saw you have in your profile the msn adress... of
course every day some man dating you, I give mine just if someone ask to me and
his profile is with good comments...

In this place there are so many people, so many men from all over the world with
different culture, what do you think about? i choose my way becouse is obvious
that some man try to dating if you have in your profile photo and msn adress...


#65 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Jul 06 23:06:10
Well,  I actually think it is funny, all the spam I get. 

The bad spelling mistakes, the desperation in the veiled plea of, what - I don't
actually know.  Is it Horniness? Lonliness? Isolation? Do they have leprocy and
are hideiously disfigured but are still able to type, the only thing left in
their lives?

 What I do, (since you are going to get it anyway) is I change my pic once in a
while, just to see if there is a difference in where it is coming from.   The
last one brought quite a few from Canada and the US, previously unchartered
spamming territory for me.  It is fun to see that my life is not bad as you
sometimes feel when you are down.  It could always be worse,  I could be a
spammer! LOL

#66 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Jul 06 13:04:52
Catflower, thank you for speaking out!

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