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Forum > Experiences, Anecdotes and Funny Misunderstandings > HC is NOT a dating service!!!
#0 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 4:28:09
Russian Federation
It seems that spring is in the air and hospitality club is not an exception. 

Unceasing stream of "flirting" messages each day fills my mailbox (the smartest
ones write me directly to my e-mail or add in MSN). I already established my
personal nomination "the letter of the day" - for the most horny, unlogical and
weird letter. I'm not against intercultural friendship and communication, but
these guys definitely not looking for a friendship!!! They dont have any common
intellectual interests with me and usually start conversation with "Do u have a
webcam?", "I want to know u more/better!" or "can i see more photos of u?" (3
most popular beginnings of conversation). Cool, eh? 
Even after i wrote down in my profile "pls, no flirting spam - hc is not a
dating service!" i continue to receive all this crappy messages from the males
all other the world. Btw, it was more or less understandable when i was "spamed"
by males from eastern and asian countries, but now Europe almost outrun both
Asia and East. 
What the hell is wrong?! Can u see naked photos of me in my profile? No! And u
know, why? There are no naked photos of me in my profile!!!  Why then all this
males continue to spam me EVERY day?! And they even dont consider it as a spam.
"I just wanted to talk with u!". Awesome.

Sorry for such angry post, but it's really not funny anymore. All this crap
really distorts the idea of hospitality club for me. It's not what i expected
when had signed this community.

Btw, i wonder if moderators will delete this post according to Forum Rules
paragraph #3. But i'm not talking about particular case - it's general
situation. And if we want to make HC better place, we should discuss negative
aspects also.

So, lets state the question this way (actually it's question to females
hc-members): how you deal with this situation?
#26 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 20 Mar 06 1:13:45
Several members have complained to me about horny members - still they only
visit members of opposite gender... It seems they're more PROUD than BOTHERED.

IF it's a problem - remove the sexy photo and the contact info (HC offers
excellent spam-free mail-service).

I think MANY members are satisfied with HC as a dating-service. I'm not. Yet.
#27 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 20 Mar 06 2:41:11
HC not a dating service? i didn´t know this. what comes next? Maybe: LIFE not a
dating service!
Mossbeard, with all the dating features on this site, your still not happy?
Well, no wonder, obviously you didn´t even follow the most basic rules that are
listed under "more datings, please!!!". but, no problem, i will give you
FIRST: take the chicken out of your beard, not all people like chicken nowadays.

SECOND: try to cut your beard. in your profile your face is hardly to recognize
behind your beard (btw. you need a lawn mower for this. probably you don´t have
one since it works with petrol or electricity and you lack both, i can feel it
clearly. you can use a scythe as well).
THIRD: on your profile deactivate the smell HC feature that is still working as
beta version, but it´s already working. so if other people on hc will not
benefit from your organic deodorant your dating satisfaction is guaranteed!
For me HC works fine as dating service, but anyway, everybody is allowed to use
the dating site he or she wants.
#28 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 20 Mar 06 3:21:54
by the way, what is the difference of a dating message and a message asking for
hospitality? i mean, what criteria do you use for deciding that a mail is dating
#29 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 20 Mar 06 8:12:34
United Kingdom
we might be reinventing the wheel here!!!!!

what standards have we set ourselves for normal relationships? If I find a girl
attractive, God help me, I dont stop at telling her. Its normal, isn't it?

but hey, its a love hate relationship. We live in such a world. catflower, I'm
sorry you had your bad times. but heck, spamming is as old as the hills. Men and
women do NOT think alike. Someone help me here. Is it biological or simply that
we use the wrong side of our brains for the wrong actions?

mud slinging is such a dirty word. but would we like a world without it? I like
my morning jolt of reality; yeah I get hit by women too. haha. no big deal. but
i deal with it. its part of being who we are. guys call me all sorts of nice
things and not such nice things. deal with it. its a thing we call LIFE.

sexuality and human behaviour are like the two apples that fell off a tree.
Newton ate one, burped and went to sleep. when the other apple fell, he asked a
question which gave us the best law of physics. 

catflower, u might see a lot of positive things in life too.... if u could look.
NOT being a woman hmmmm I just cannot help. But guys, take a stride. Life is
about waking up and not falling asleep
#30 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 22 Mar 06 8:50:03
Just leave them a comment - 'the guy spammed me, we met, i couldn't see his
willy without a magnifying glass and even then it had bear fur and spaghetti on

#31 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 22 Mar 06 12:59:54
Come on people,
a girl's (any) picture is of no importance in this case,
she can look just average, she may put a pic of a monkey’s arse in her profile
but when she gives her ids, she will be called, because she is ‘available’
and to (at least try to) have a chat with her is just a mouse click away. Then
he would come up with a question .. do you have a picture ?
If she is hot and stated no ids, well, she might be only 5’ search away, but
that's toooooo far away, and he wonders if she is worth that effort anyway, or
the effort of writting a nice personal message to her, or for God sake, the
effort of reading her profile ?
(If he does write a nice email, well, he deserves a reply :-)

This kind of guys are everywhere so bear with it. 
I apologize if they have had some other divine thoughts instead.

The fact that Catflower also seems to be both cute and interesting doesn’t
really matter here, because I am sure that these guys don’t read profiles at
#32 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 22 Mar 06 13:22:31
United Kingdom
Comming back to ads : as I stated before you can find ads of any kind in any
newspaper ot TV station and it is always said that the newspaper or the TV
station is not responsible for the content of the ads. The same goes to HC.
#33 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 24 Mar 06 17:12:39
well , hi everyone
so i am a latino brazilian guy, 'n i know how it is ...we have kind of blood hot
and always horny (of course in the right way) but i am really upset how ppl from
hc(not all) still keep this stupid attitude to strike girls with words and other
forms of insultin.
i ve seen good things here on hc club,and made good friends and i know
mainly girls suffer this kind of abuse..guys u all believe some boys have send
emails for me and ask stupids things thta i dont need to say it
usual guys to receive e-maisl..?? or jsut girls..i know there are lots of guys
who receive spams as well but it is perhaps shameful say it loudly for
everione...but i dont think this way.. i know what i like ....and i just ignore
such spams and when i use the chat some guys either try to talk to me in other
way ..i am sure u all get what i mean.. and i think it's is stupid..but as the
club is for openminded pll and respectful as well.
i dont care at all..i just think girls have to be careful with guests just's my viewpoint...cheers
#34 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 24 Mar 06 17:20:06
and i am not gayyy lol...
imlove girls but  i am not a fuckin horny who dont respect girls....cheers,
#35 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 24 Mar 06 18:15:08
its always us men who seem to use the HC as a dating site.
please all women looking to date spam me :)
its screwed up, but i honestly don't think changing your photo will be a
solution, it may curb some of the flow but you'll still be nailed with the
stuff. i agree with dan as usual.

thanking whatever diety you believe in, im a bloke.

#36 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 27 Mar 06 1:40:00
My friend is travelling at the moment, using HC to find accommodation. Just one
problem; all female hosts wants to date him. A couple of months ago he wrote

"Hi, I'm in A, staying with a beautiful girl.
Just one problem; she has only one room, and only ONE MATTRESS!! I'm in
celibacy for 16 months, she is gorgeous and smart, I'm horny. Miss X too..."

Today he sent this update:

"I had two girls in B. Total chaos, had to escape to the opposite gender.

5 days in C and I've got two girls here too!
After two days there was "love" between me and my host. Yesterday I went to a
party with 20 other HC-members. My dancing impressed everyone, including miss Y.
Very special she too, and I couldn't resist when she wanted to kiss.
Today we had sex in a staircase behind a mosque - while they were shouting their
prayers all over the city... Crazy crazy, lucky we weren't shot by the police!
This is my favourite girl, I want to meet her again in D, I'm going there
tomorrow with my host!
I'm telling them that I love both, and they respect it..."

I wonder; when I've visited or hosted HC-women - did they expect me to "date"
them? Should I write and tell them I'm sorry I didn't?
#37 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 27 Mar 06 12:04:37
@vikingbeard : 

very funny story, thanks for sharing it.

When I was 14 years old we used to tell these kinds of stories also.

"yeah, that girl from 6th grade is really horny, she goes with all the guys"
"wow, i had three older women last night, it was groovy"

Of course, when I became older these stories turned out to be wishful thinking.
I just hope for your friend that his dreams will come true.

Anyway, I'm sure everybody who reads these kinds of stories, knows that there is
a difference between :

a) when 2 people have mutual feelings on the one hand (which is a good thing
where HC doesn't have anything to say) and 
b) when one party (host or guest) 'forces' a situation (which is a bad thing of

#38 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 28 Mar 06 1:36:48
I feel like a young boy at the HC-school - being forced by the headmaster to
write a hundred times - 

HC is NOT a dating service!!!

hahaha but that's not true...
The story I told is true, and there must be thousands of other successful
dating-stories among the members. Tell yours too!
#39 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 28 Mar 06 2:46:01
oooh viking. when will you behave. surely you´ll get thrown out of the
classroom if you go on like this.
your desk neighbour
p.s. i wish i was a pretty girl. imagine, after class, just the two of us in the
classroom, writing "HC is NOT a dating service!!! " a hundred times, maybe more
.... pooah but take care, our parents must not know. 
#40 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 17:36:31
Let's try to make one whole opinion of our class... :))

torstenphilipp said:
> HC not a dating service? i didn´t know this. 
> what comes next? Maybe: LIFE not a dating service!

It's amazing and -somehow- true!

I would point out that the fact that HC is not a dating site means, IMHO, that
it's not allowed to send emails or to use the contact details of other members
for reasons different than the site purpose, mostly travels, accomodation,
friendship among different cultures and countries.

After the friendship or the meeting begins, anyone knows that the difference
between dating and meeting is very subtle.. ;)

And, as I know, it's true, happen to be a lot of couples, just one kiss, one
night, one week or even married members!

Going back to the original theme, "NOT a dating site", let's say that I never
spammed tons of girls, but sometimes I contacted guys or girls for advice or for
infos or just because their profile was interesting and nobody was angry with

Privetik catflower dorogoja podruga v MSN! :))
#41 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 17:59:37
United Kingdom
Torsten dude, You got me laughing again!! Whacko whacko. But yea, remember that
guy at the museum door selling tickets until like 15 minutes before closing and
he goes  OK this way in, and that's the exit: and please remember NO LOOKING    
  and this entire bunch of idiots went into the museum! haha funny story? Man oh
man. Like saying, you can go fishing but keep your worms and biers with the

If sparks fly when two people meet, how but how could you stop that! And being
spammed by someone.... damn, I'll be so damn pleased I got noticed!


Torsten, I'm going to miss ya in May/June but heck, keep up the good humour lad:
the world is such a stinker without laughter.

#42 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 19:11:51
I agree with @tommato, and with @dj too !

The problem is not a problem - even for later dating stuff - if people behave as
would be polite and/or as is the primary purpose of this club.

Today again, now I really got irritated with a new msncontacting maleperson (he
was being rude and stupid, maybe himself not even quite understanding it). So
now my msn address is not in my profile anymore, it was too easily picked up. 

In fact the best people (and really very lovely they are !) I've 'met' here are
the ones who have contacted me first via HC mail or the ones I have myself
contacted for travellingtips or other non-dating purposes. 

And in my opinion @dj did get it really good..that's it probably for @catflower

#43 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 19:33:41
he ketchupato,
to make "one whole opinion" - where is the hole? 
or do you mean holy? in this case you have forgotten the amen under your post.
#44 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 19:44:18
And I have to make it perfectly clear that the maleperson I was reffering to in
my post was not @torstenphilipp..

#45 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 03 Apr 06 20:30:27
he telle,
that´s sad for the both of us. but be carefull, your profile picture attracts
me somehow. especially i´m interested in dating one of the cows that are in the
background of the pic (the one with the black butt). i´m gonna watch out for
the first cow hc member, ah no just joking, my parrot will get jealous .

#46 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 04 Apr 06 4:43:24
United Kingdom
@torsten, parrots have crackers to crunch. Cows eat cud. Some people eat their
words (out of circumstances) and some others, live life without any waves.

Behaviour, dating, spamming...... its all the same or what? grrrrr pffffff. Is
burping after a good garlic soup bad manners? Culturally speaking then, its
always the same path. Not the less-travelled route, Ja?

Torsten, starting a revolution sometimes doesn't take banners and such. Right?
hehehe. Do we have to say MONKEY'S LOVE BANANAS, Man? Its OK dude. The world
will learn....
#47 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 04 Apr 06 16:00:17
he caesar, 

you can be cryptic sometimes man.... where did you learn that? are you in the
indian secret service?
i don´t understand a single word. but don´t mind probably everybody else will.

are you in the end making fun? well, you know i´m german i need a special
translator for this.
what was the topic again?

#48 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 04 Apr 06 16:08:15
oh yes, spamming.
i really like to know: How do you, dating spam receivers of the world, interpret
a message as  dating spam or just a "normal" interest in cultural exchange or
something else. what´s your criteria? is there any? 
by now i just got 3 mails via HC that i could interpret with some effort as
dating mail. only one of them was by a girl. mmmhm.... cowardish girls ;-)
#49 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Tue 04 Apr 06 20:43:10
 spamming here.... spamming there......
guys............ most of you..........
 .....take it easy........... you all just males.........
thats the destiny........
i´m sorry...... for all of you.......
but i have some hope that there really some "nice"....... under them...... in
the hole world......
#50 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Apr 06 14:06:05
Did I get something wrong? Not a dating site? :-(
In this case: anybody willing to come to Lisdoonvarna with me in September?
#51 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Apr 06 14:48:06
United Kingdom
Torsten dear buddy, The only secrets I have are the ones known to everyone. Like
why didn't the apple fall to the ground and not shoot off into space!!

Nah man. I was talking from my heart; not in a cryptic sense but ..... like
positive angry. See? When all is lost, blame it on someone. That's how the game
is played by lots of people? So if dating was such a problem for some people;
thats OK too, right? 

But you know what? In this maze of -isms and fuzzy logic, I'm happy I met a dude
like you.... even if it be in cyberspace for the moment.

@Julia: there are those that you speak of: somewhere on this planet. The nice
thing is; like the apple I talked about; they just drop in..... unannounced and
without any red-carpets :)

@Annette, what and where is the thingy you wrote about? plz
#52 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Apr 06 14:49:05
United Kingdom
Yeah Annette, what is Lisdoonvarna?? please?
#53 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 05 Apr 06 15:53:26
Check this site and you'll know:

Lisdoonvarna is in Ireland, in the middle of the Burren, one of Europe's most
unique landscapes.  Good! :-) 
Lisdoonvarna also has a number of pubs with traditional Irish music. Even
better! :-))

But most important and best of all, especially in September: Lisdoonvarna hosts
the annual matchmakers festival and draws singles from all over the world.  A
week of partying and  dating! :-)))


P. S. Your schengen visum is still valid in September, I hope - shit, but you're
married :-(
#54 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 06 Apr 06 8:50:37
United Kingdom
I cant stop laughing.

They make matches in Lisdoonvarna? Big deal. I stopped using them. I prefer
lighters!! hehehehehe.

So yes, I'm married! I mean soooooooooooo????????

Hey the schengen visa is NOT for Ireland. Ireland isn't part of the schengen
states. Its the GREAT (whatteva) Britian.

@everyone. I haven't been to Ireland (((((((yet))))))))))

#55 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 06 Apr 06 9:21:34
Hi Caesar,
great! So we're going to Ireland first, and then on to Bangalore?
#56 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Thu 06 Apr 06 18:38:31
United Kingdom
Annette, what if I get hitched in Ireland????? Nah kiddin. I'll be on a
shoe-string budget for most of the year (leave-wise) cuz I'm already using most
of my available leave for May/June. I'm keeping some days for when I'll get
itchy feet and would need to go to Europe again.

pffff no. I'm not making a plan; just thinking aloud!

So much to do: places to go, people to meet and not enough time. baaaaaah

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