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Forum > Experiences, Anecdotes and Funny Misunderstandings > HC is NOT a dating service!!!
#0 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 4:28:09
Russian Federation
It seems that spring is in the air and hospitality club is not an exception. 

Unceasing stream of "flirting" messages each day fills my mailbox (the smartest
ones write me directly to my e-mail or add in MSN). I already established my
personal nomination "the letter of the day" - for the most horny, unlogical and
weird letter. I'm not against intercultural friendship and communication, but
these guys definitely not looking for a friendship!!! They dont have any common
intellectual interests with me and usually start conversation with "Do u have a
webcam?", "I want to know u more/better!" or "can i see more photos of u?" (3
most popular beginnings of conversation). Cool, eh? 
Even after i wrote down in my profile "pls, no flirting spam - hc is not a
dating service!" i continue to receive all this crappy messages from the males
all other the world. Btw, it was more or less understandable when i was "spamed"
by males from eastern and asian countries, but now Europe almost outrun both
Asia and East. 
What the hell is wrong?! Can u see naked photos of me in my profile? No! And u
know, why? There are no naked photos of me in my profile!!!  Why then all this
males continue to spam me EVERY day?! And they even dont consider it as a spam.
"I just wanted to talk with u!". Awesome.

Sorry for such angry post, but it's really not funny anymore. All this crap
really distorts the idea of hospitality club for me. It's not what i expected
when had signed this community.

Btw, i wonder if moderators will delete this post according to Forum Rules
paragraph #3. But i'm not talking about particular case - it's general
situation. And if we want to make HC better place, we should discuss negative
aspects also.

So, lets state the question this way (actually it's question to females
hc-members): how you deal with this situation?
#16 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 5:43:02
Alas! I don’t like cooking…. :)  I hope there are still some people that
will contact me :)) 

I’m so sorry about you, catflower.. 
As for me, men mostly want to add me to msn. If I have time, I go to see their
profiles and if they are empty or include females only, or are simply ones that
I dislike, I block those people from contacting me in future (there’s such
good option in msn). :)  If I don’t have time, sometimes I block men at once,
just seeing that they are from Turkey, Morocco or nearby countries (sorry those
who have nothing to do with spam)... 

However, I don’t think that all such messages are dating spam. Most of
messages that I get are stupid, but I think this happens because people don’t
know language well, don’t know how to start normal talk or are too lazy to
read profiles and contact just after seeing photo. I never got message asking to
marry, live together or date, so despite such clear spam messages I would be
more careful and think well before leaving bad comment about that person –
maybe it was just a problem of language or smth like that… Well, maybe I’m
too naive or too good about this :) 

By the way, I viewed your profile and also think that your photo is too nice :)
If you would have more simple one, it could help a lot. :) and I also went to
your homepage. maybe it was accident, but the picture of two kissing people
jumped right in front of my eyes. :)) well, for me it’s nice, but if you could
change this, number of spammers would decrease immediately... I hope… ;)  and
of course, follow all good advices given above.. :)

Wishing good mood and wonderful day without spam ;)
#17 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 6:20:30
Remembered one more interesting question for me, though it’s little bit off
the topic… who knows why such big number of spammers or writers of stupid
messages are from Turkey, Morocco and other nearby countries? Sometimes I think
about this but cannot find out one answer – do they have lack of women? or
it’s national sport in their countries – to write more spam messages? maybe
it’s cultural thing? or…? :)

And another interesting question for me... :)
narviking told about spam from women. I don’t agree that it’s accepted that
women send such messages. I think that men just talk less about this problem.
And of course it happens more rarely.. So maybe you, dear men, can tell about
such experiences?.. Just to hear that we are not alone getting this stupid
stuff… :) 

Sorry if my questions are out of topic... :) 
#18 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 8:04:49
United Kingdom
first of all I don't really know what is offensive in 'Russian Women Want to
Date You' but ok, this is a personal thing. 
I just wanted to say that ads and comercials are around us every day, in every
second of our lives. TV, newspapers, google's everywhere and we have to
be ready to ignore. To say the thruth since I'm in hc I haven't read any google
'ads', I simply ignore it. That's a very usefull skill in our times!
#19 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 11:57:35
just because u are offended by such unimportant ads u expect other ppl
(volunteers in this case) to spend important time of their life to change it???
see the relation!!! and get firefox with adblock...
and i want to mention that if this dating spam would be totaly unsuccessful no
one would do it anylonger. all voices here are against this, but there have to
be enough girls outside who go in for that. surely u never will find a honest
post of one of this persons here...
thanks god that u never abused the site as a dating service :-P
#20 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 18:24:24
I have noticed the same than Catflower, but luckily in smaller scale (due to my
higher age i believe)

There has been some men who contact me through msn straight, before they even
send me any e-mail. Then i answer because first i think that they are really
going to travel to Finland. And then after some strange conversations i find out
that they are really not at all going to travel here. They want me to travel to
their homecountry etc... And very quickly i notice that they have not really
even read my profile at all...  

It is bit of a turn off, but as said luckily just couple of those. And my
profile is not for all to read. Just HC people.

I just more or less ignore. And in fact I'm very good at making men getting
bored with me ;-))

I tried to change my picture (for other reasons though) but for some reason it
did not work out. Maybe have to try again.

And as for women who do the same ''datespammingthing': it is not good either. 
Women in fact should know better.

But you know, world is full of people - so same and yet so different.
#21 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 18:35:27
@telle2006 : about the update of your picture that doesn't seem to work :

I had the same problem I thought, but it turned out all the other people could
see my new picture, it was only because the "cache" of my computer didn't update
(something with my settings in Windows Explorer).

So please try again. You could always give me a sign through the HC message
system when you have uploaded your new picture, and i'll mail you back to tell
you which picture I can see.

Hope the problem will then be solved.


#22 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 20:56:13
Thank you Frank,

I noticed also that I can see my new picture in this conversation, but not in
So I started to wonder too, and now I read your message - so that must be it.

Still could not change my pic in profile for me, so maybe I check out my
computer settings...

#23 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 21:26:00
Problem solved.
thank you for the hint Frank !

It was only that I had to empty my temporary internet files etc.
Simple as that. So if anyone has the same problem...

Now at least my figure in my profile is so small that no man should get any
thoughts of it :-))

But anyway, it is a pity that Catflower should look 'ugly' in her profile to
avoid spam. Life is too cruel sometime.
#24 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 22:44:47
Ocean View
United States of America
to: Maria and Wokzilla -- the fact that I take offense at these ads is not the
point... the point is that since HC is not a dating service, then adverts
specifically about dating are inappropriate to this forum, no?
#25 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 23:09:06
if i remember right u can not influence the ads... its based on the written down
site content. so, most of the ads are about travel and dating (defnitly the most
used words here) - fits quite good, or? i just wonder why there never was an ad
about party :-)
#26 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 20 Mar 06 1:13:45
Several members have complained to me about horny members - still they only
visit members of opposite gender... It seems they're more PROUD than BOTHERED.

IF it's a problem - remove the sexy photo and the contact info (HC offers
excellent spam-free mail-service).

I think MANY members are satisfied with HC as a dating-service. I'm not. Yet.
#27 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 20 Mar 06 2:41:11
HC not a dating service? i didn´t know this. what comes next? Maybe: LIFE not a
dating service!
Mossbeard, with all the dating features on this site, your still not happy?
Well, no wonder, obviously you didn´t even follow the most basic rules that are
listed under "more datings, please!!!". but, no problem, i will give you
FIRST: take the chicken out of your beard, not all people like chicken nowadays.

SECOND: try to cut your beard. in your profile your face is hardly to recognize
behind your beard (btw. you need a lawn mower for this. probably you don´t have
one since it works with petrol or electricity and you lack both, i can feel it
clearly. you can use a scythe as well).
THIRD: on your profile deactivate the smell HC feature that is still working as
beta version, but it´s already working. so if other people on hc will not
benefit from your organic deodorant your dating satisfaction is guaranteed!
For me HC works fine as dating service, but anyway, everybody is allowed to use
the dating site he or she wants.
#28 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 20 Mar 06 3:21:54
by the way, what is the difference of a dating message and a message asking for
hospitality? i mean, what criteria do you use for deciding that a mail is dating
#29 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 20 Mar 06 8:12:34
United Kingdom
we might be reinventing the wheel here!!!!!

what standards have we set ourselves for normal relationships? If I find a girl
attractive, God help me, I dont stop at telling her. Its normal, isn't it?

but hey, its a love hate relationship. We live in such a world. catflower, I'm
sorry you had your bad times. but heck, spamming is as old as the hills. Men and
women do NOT think alike. Someone help me here. Is it biological or simply that
we use the wrong side of our brains for the wrong actions?

mud slinging is such a dirty word. but would we like a world without it? I like
my morning jolt of reality; yeah I get hit by women too. haha. no big deal. but
i deal with it. its part of being who we are. guys call me all sorts of nice
things and not such nice things. deal with it. its a thing we call LIFE.

sexuality and human behaviour are like the two apples that fell off a tree.
Newton ate one, burped and went to sleep. when the other apple fell, he asked a
question which gave us the best law of physics. 

catflower, u might see a lot of positive things in life too.... if u could look.
NOT being a woman hmmmm I just cannot help. But guys, take a stride. Life is
about waking up and not falling asleep
#30 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 22 Mar 06 8:50:03
Just leave them a comment - 'the guy spammed me, we met, i couldn't see his
willy without a magnifying glass and even then it had bear fur and spaghetti on

#31 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 22 Mar 06 12:59:54
Come on people,
a girl's (any) picture is of no importance in this case,
she can look just average, she may put a pic of a monkey’s arse in her profile
but when she gives her ids, she will be called, because she is ‘available’
and to (at least try to) have a chat with her is just a mouse click away. Then
he would come up with a question .. do you have a picture ?
If she is hot and stated no ids, well, she might be only 5’ search away, but
that's toooooo far away, and he wonders if she is worth that effort anyway, or
the effort of writting a nice personal message to her, or for God sake, the
effort of reading her profile ?
(If he does write a nice email, well, he deserves a reply :-)

This kind of guys are everywhere so bear with it. 
I apologize if they have had some other divine thoughts instead.

The fact that Catflower also seems to be both cute and interesting doesn’t
really matter here, because I am sure that these guys don’t read profiles at
#32 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Wed 22 Mar 06 13:22:31
United Kingdom
Comming back to ads : as I stated before you can find ads of any kind in any
newspaper ot TV station and it is always said that the newspaper or the TV
station is not responsible for the content of the ads. The same goes to HC.
#33 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 24 Mar 06 17:12:39
well , hi everyone
so i am a latino brazilian guy, 'n i know how it is ...we have kind of blood hot
and always horny (of course in the right way) but i am really upset how ppl from
hc(not all) still keep this stupid attitude to strike girls with words and other
forms of insultin.
i ve seen good things here on hc club,and made good friends and i know
mainly girls suffer this kind of abuse..guys u all believe some boys have send
emails for me and ask stupids things thta i dont need to say it
usual guys to receive e-maisl..?? or jsut girls..i know there are lots of guys
who receive spams as well but it is perhaps shameful say it loudly for
everione...but i dont think this way.. i know what i like ....and i just ignore
such spams and when i use the chat some guys either try to talk to me in other
way ..i am sure u all get what i mean.. and i think it's is stupid..but as the
club is for openminded pll and respectful as well.
i dont care at all..i just think girls have to be careful with guests just's my viewpoint...cheers
#34 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 24 Mar 06 17:20:06
and i am not gayyy lol...
imlove girls but  i am not a fuckin horny who dont respect girls....cheers,
#35 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 24 Mar 06 18:15:08
its always us men who seem to use the HC as a dating site.
please all women looking to date spam me :)
its screwed up, but i honestly don't think changing your photo will be a
solution, it may curb some of the flow but you'll still be nailed with the
stuff. i agree with dan as usual.

thanking whatever diety you believe in, im a bloke.

#36 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 27 Mar 06 1:40:00
My friend is travelling at the moment, using HC to find accommodation. Just one
problem; all female hosts wants to date him. A couple of months ago he wrote

"Hi, I'm in A, staying with a beautiful girl.
Just one problem; she has only one room, and only ONE MATTRESS!! I'm in
celibacy for 16 months, she is gorgeous and smart, I'm horny. Miss X too..."

Today he sent this update:

"I had two girls in B. Total chaos, had to escape to the opposite gender.

5 days in C and I've got two girls here too!
After two days there was "love" between me and my host. Yesterday I went to a
party with 20 other HC-members. My dancing impressed everyone, including miss Y.
Very special she too, and I couldn't resist when she wanted to kiss.
Today we had sex in a staircase behind a mosque - while they were shouting their
prayers all over the city... Crazy crazy, lucky we weren't shot by the police!
This is my favourite girl, I want to meet her again in D, I'm going there
tomorrow with my host!
I'm telling them that I love both, and they respect it..."

I wonder; when I've visited or hosted HC-women - did they expect me to "date"
them? Should I write and tell them I'm sorry I didn't?

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