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Forum > Experiences, Anecdotes and Funny Misunderstandings > HC is NOT a dating service!!!
#0 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 4:28:09
Russian Federation
It seems that spring is in the air and hospitality club is not an exception. 

Unceasing stream of "flirting" messages each day fills my mailbox (the smartest
ones write me directly to my e-mail or add in MSN). I already established my
personal nomination "the letter of the day" - for the most horny, unlogical and
weird letter. I'm not against intercultural friendship and communication, but
these guys definitely not looking for a friendship!!! They dont have any common
intellectual interests with me and usually start conversation with "Do u have a
webcam?", "I want to know u more/better!" or "can i see more photos of u?" (3
most popular beginnings of conversation). Cool, eh? 
Even after i wrote down in my profile "pls, no flirting spam - hc is not a
dating service!" i continue to receive all this crappy messages from the males
all other the world. Btw, it was more or less understandable when i was "spamed"
by males from eastern and asian countries, but now Europe almost outrun both
Asia and East. 
What the hell is wrong?! Can u see naked photos of me in my profile? No! And u
know, why? There are no naked photos of me in my profile!!!  Why then all this
males continue to spam me EVERY day?! And they even dont consider it as a spam.
"I just wanted to talk with u!". Awesome.

Sorry for such angry post, but it's really not funny anymore. All this crap
really distorts the idea of hospitality club for me. It's not what i expected
when had signed this community.

Btw, i wonder if moderators will delete this post according to Forum Rules
paragraph #3. But i'm not talking about particular case - it's general
situation. And if we want to make HC better place, we should discuss negative
aspects also.

So, lets state the question this way (actually it's question to females
hc-members): how you deal with this situation?
#11 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 18 Mar 06 18:53:37
thorgal67, I know for sure that my picture has nothing to do with why those
women contacting me, its the naive immigration laws and average salary in Norway
that is the main reason ;-)

I love to be contacted by african women as well as women from everywere else in
the world UNLESS they ask for money or want me to marry them !  
#12 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 18 Mar 06 22:47:01
Ocean View
United States of America
Frank said: "So apart from the last ad, there is nothing that really strikes me
as 'offensive'."

That's because you're Frank... and I'm Barbara. I really do find offensive the
ads that say "Russian Women Want to Date You" or whatever. 
#13 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 18 Mar 06 22:52:57
catflower, start charging money for your photos :) maybe you will not consider
this as an option, but you may earn lot of cash :) 

seriously, just state how u live with ur boyfriend/housband, in ur profile, I
think that would be major turn down for them :) and inform us if there are any
significant results after, lets say, 5 days from now :)
#14 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 18 Mar 06 23:01:21
by the way, I would never contact female HC member who can't cook! :P
#15 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 1:17:02
Position 70º 40’ 8’’ S / 8º 16’ 2’’ W
Oh mpetrovic! how sexistic u are! terrible! ;-)
#16 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 5:43:02
Alas! I don’t like cooking…. :)  I hope there are still some people that
will contact me :)) 

I’m so sorry about you, catflower.. 
As for me, men mostly want to add me to msn. If I have time, I go to see their
profiles and if they are empty or include females only, or are simply ones that
I dislike, I block those people from contacting me in future (there’s such
good option in msn). :)  If I don’t have time, sometimes I block men at once,
just seeing that they are from Turkey, Morocco or nearby countries (sorry those
who have nothing to do with spam)... 

However, I don’t think that all such messages are dating spam. Most of
messages that I get are stupid, but I think this happens because people don’t
know language well, don’t know how to start normal talk or are too lazy to
read profiles and contact just after seeing photo. I never got message asking to
marry, live together or date, so despite such clear spam messages I would be
more careful and think well before leaving bad comment about that person –
maybe it was just a problem of language or smth like that… Well, maybe I’m
too naive or too good about this :) 

By the way, I viewed your profile and also think that your photo is too nice :)
If you would have more simple one, it could help a lot. :) and I also went to
your homepage. maybe it was accident, but the picture of two kissing people
jumped right in front of my eyes. :)) well, for me it’s nice, but if you could
change this, number of spammers would decrease immediately... I hope… ;)  and
of course, follow all good advices given above.. :)

Wishing good mood and wonderful day without spam ;)
#17 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 6:20:30
Remembered one more interesting question for me, though it’s little bit off
the topic… who knows why such big number of spammers or writers of stupid
messages are from Turkey, Morocco and other nearby countries? Sometimes I think
about this but cannot find out one answer – do they have lack of women? or
it’s national sport in their countries – to write more spam messages? maybe
it’s cultural thing? or…? :)

And another interesting question for me... :)
narviking told about spam from women. I don’t agree that it’s accepted that
women send such messages. I think that men just talk less about this problem.
And of course it happens more rarely.. So maybe you, dear men, can tell about
such experiences?.. Just to hear that we are not alone getting this stupid
stuff… :) 

Sorry if my questions are out of topic... :) 
#18 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 8:04:49
United Kingdom
first of all I don't really know what is offensive in 'Russian Women Want to
Date You' but ok, this is a personal thing. 
I just wanted to say that ads and comercials are around us every day, in every
second of our lives. TV, newspapers, google's everywhere and we have to
be ready to ignore. To say the thruth since I'm in hc I haven't read any google
'ads', I simply ignore it. That's a very usefull skill in our times!
#19 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 11:57:35
just because u are offended by such unimportant ads u expect other ppl
(volunteers in this case) to spend important time of their life to change it???
see the relation!!! and get firefox with adblock...
and i want to mention that if this dating spam would be totaly unsuccessful no
one would do it anylonger. all voices here are against this, but there have to
be enough girls outside who go in for that. surely u never will find a honest
post of one of this persons here...
thanks god that u never abused the site as a dating service :-P
#20 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 18:24:24
I have noticed the same than Catflower, but luckily in smaller scale (due to my
higher age i believe)

There has been some men who contact me through msn straight, before they even
send me any e-mail. Then i answer because first i think that they are really
going to travel to Finland. And then after some strange conversations i find out
that they are really not at all going to travel here. They want me to travel to
their homecountry etc... And very quickly i notice that they have not really
even read my profile at all...  

It is bit of a turn off, but as said luckily just couple of those. And my
profile is not for all to read. Just HC people.

I just more or less ignore. And in fact I'm very good at making men getting
bored with me ;-))

I tried to change my picture (for other reasons though) but for some reason it
did not work out. Maybe have to try again.

And as for women who do the same ''datespammingthing': it is not good either. 
Women in fact should know better.

But you know, world is full of people - so same and yet so different.
#21 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 18:35:27
@telle2006 : about the update of your picture that doesn't seem to work :

I had the same problem I thought, but it turned out all the other people could
see my new picture, it was only because the "cache" of my computer didn't update
(something with my settings in Windows Explorer).

So please try again. You could always give me a sign through the HC message
system when you have uploaded your new picture, and i'll mail you back to tell
you which picture I can see.

Hope the problem will then be solved.


#22 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 20:56:13
Thank you Frank,

I noticed also that I can see my new picture in this conversation, but not in
So I started to wonder too, and now I read your message - so that must be it.

Still could not change my pic in profile for me, so maybe I check out my
computer settings...

#23 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 21:26:00
Problem solved.
thank you for the hint Frank !

It was only that I had to empty my temporary internet files etc.
Simple as that. So if anyone has the same problem...

Now at least my figure in my profile is so small that no man should get any
thoughts of it :-))

But anyway, it is a pity that Catflower should look 'ugly' in her profile to
avoid spam. Life is too cruel sometime.
#24 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 22:44:47
Ocean View
United States of America
to: Maria and Wokzilla -- the fact that I take offense at these ads is not the
point... the point is that since HC is not a dating service, then adverts
specifically about dating are inappropriate to this forum, no?
#25 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sun 19 Mar 06 23:09:06
if i remember right u can not influence the ads... its based on the written down
site content. so, most of the ads are about travel and dating (defnitly the most
used words here) - fits quite good, or? i just wonder why there never was an ad
about party :-)
#26 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Mon 20 Mar 06 1:13:45
Several members have complained to me about horny members - still they only
visit members of opposite gender... It seems they're more PROUD than BOTHERED.

IF it's a problem - remove the sexy photo and the contact info (HC offers
excellent spam-free mail-service).

I think MANY members are satisfied with HC as a dating-service. I'm not. Yet.

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