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Forum > Experiences, Anecdotes and Funny Misunderstandings > HC is NOT a dating service!!!
#0 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 4:28:09
catflower
Moskva
Russian Federation
It seems that spring is in the air and hospitality club is not an exception. 

Unceasing stream of "flirting" messages each day fills my mailbox (the smartest
ones write me directly to my e-mail or add in MSN). I already established my
personal nomination "the letter of the day" - for the most horny, unlogical and
weird letter. I'm not against intercultural friendship and communication, but
these guys definitely not looking for a friendship!!! They dont have any common
intellectual interests with me and usually start conversation with "Do u have a
webcam?", "I want to know u more/better!" or "can i see more photos of u?" (3
most popular beginnings of conversation). Cool, eh? 
Even after i wrote down in my profile "pls, no flirting spam - hc is not a
dating service!" i continue to receive all this crappy messages from the males
all other the world. Btw, it was more or less understandable when i was "spamed"
by males from eastern and asian countries, but now Europe almost outrun both
Asia and East. 
What the hell is wrong?! Can u see naked photos of me in my profile? No! And u
know, why? There are no naked photos of me in my profile!!!  Why then all this
males continue to spam me EVERY day?! And they even dont consider it as a spam.
"I just wanted to talk with u!". Awesome.

Sorry for such angry post, but it's really not funny anymore. All this crap
really distorts the idea of hospitality club for me. It's not what i expected
when had signed this community.

Btw, i wonder if moderators will delete this post according to Forum Rules
paragraph #3. But i'm not talking about particular case - it's general
situation. And if we want to make HC better place, we should discuss negative
aspects also.

So, lets state the question this way (actually it's question to females
hc-members): how you deal with this situation?
Reply
#1 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 8:27:40
thorgal67
Grimbergen
Belgium
Hey Catflower,

First of all, I would just like to say how sorry I am to hear what is happening
to you. HC is not a dating site, as you quite rightly state, and there is no
excuse for what is happening.

Secondly, of course you can talk about negative aspects, it's good that people
are warned. Particular cases fall under rule #3, because this is not a trial
where we can just "accuse, judge and punish" people by a whole forum of people
who were not involved. 
So no problem either with your post.

Now, the solutions :

- Do you have a public profile ? If you have, you might consider removing the
option in your preferences.
You will find a line that reads : "Allow my profile to be visible to non-members
and search engines". Setting this to "NO" will help in most cases.

- If you don't have a public profile, then it means that an HC member is
contacting you. Try finding out who it is, and report him/her (but I imagine
it's mostly guys) through the Abuse feedback button. The volunteers in charge of
abuse can then write a mail explaining them the do's and don'ts.
How to find out who it is? 
a. ask them. If they really want to flirt with you, they'll be "honoured" if you
would check their profile
b. look at the people who check your profile (click on "profile" and then "See
who has visited my profile". Of course not everybody who clicks on your profile
is a spammer, but you might be able to trace them back

[BTW : i clicked on your profile, so don't accuse me of spamming. And the fact
that you put your problem on the forum, will generate a lot of people clicking
on yours in the next day. I'm just telling you so you shouldn't be surprised and
think that they are all out to stalk you]

- Do you have your spam filter on? If not, please put him on for a while, see if
the system improves. HC has always tried to make sure no spam goes through. 
But please : we need your help : If somebody does manage to reach your HC inbox,
inform Abuse who can take necessary action. If nobody tells them, they don't
know.

Thanks a lot for sharing and I hope we can help you.

Frank
Reply
#2 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 8:31:40
demorganna
Haringey
United Kingdom
Hello Catflower, 
this is of course a problem bothering all female members of the club and
unfortunatelly there are not so many ways to cope with this. 
If you ask me how I do this, well I simply ignore. But if it bothers you that
much than you can check the box 'spam checking' in your profile and then
volounteers will get rid of spam before your mail gets to you.

Cheer up, enjoy spring and ingnore stupid horny males.

Maria
Reply
#3 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 10:56:32
playschool
Bern
Switzerland
Though I'm not a girl, I will also add, that when you receive a message which
issue is clearly dating rather than any kind of cultural exchange (sorry ppl, I
don't consider a message like "would you marry me" ou "would you like to come to
live with me" any kind of cultural exchange in the way I think HC should work),
you can also post a "SPAM comment" as easy as just writing down just "SPAMMER"
or, better, explaining in 2-3 words in which way (f. ex. "Spammer sending open
dating messages".
 
It won't solve your problem on a short term, but should globally improve the way
HC works in 2 ways:
- could invite other members to do the same
- discourage some spammers to use HC so easily
 
Sure, all what was said before should be done too. ;)
 
EnjoY! (at least as much as you can)
Playschool
Reply
#4 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Fri 17 Mar 06 22:01:46
babsinhawaii
Ocean View
United States of America
I realize that HC is not a dating service... but then why are there so many ads
for meeting women?????

Surely there must be a way to filter out these ads when using whatever
advertising service pays for this site to exist, no?
Reply
#5 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 18 Mar 06 10:09:10
thorgal67
Grimbergen
Belgium
@babsinhawaii : 

some people think these ads are fun, others don't like them or are not
bothered.
The way I see it : it's like a magazine or a newspaper : the advertising part
and the editorial part are separated (or at least they should be).

So that in a newspaper you can write something bad about let's say McDonalds,
but you would still be able to run an advertisment for McDonalds. This is some
form of safeguard against one newspaper being used for one-sided information.

So HC is not responsible for the content of the ads.

Now to answer your initial question : the ads are supposed to be "intelligent"
and refer to some key words in your profile.
I personally find it funny to see how they sometimes give me relevant
information (i have clicked on some interesting ones in the past) and sometimes
it is silly ads that I have no use for.

If you read the FAQ, you will see that this is still an experimental fase and
you can always use the feedback form if you are offended by some of the ads.

To give you an example of my ads at this very moment :
- Great Rail Journeys
- F1 travelling
- European City Breaks
- Polish workers.

So apart from the last ad, there is nothing that really strikes me as
'offensive'.

But as I wrote before, it should give different ads to different HC members.

take care,

Frank
Reply
#6 HC is NOT a dating service!!! Sat 18 Mar 06 13:06:47
scout87
Position 70º 40’ 8’’ S / 8º 16’ 2’’ W
Antarctica
Yea, this situation is well known and its unpractical. a very good friend of
mine (member cachasa) got mails like that too. now she changes her photo, she
looks now a bit strange. 
I'm not surpriesed that u get a lot uf these fucking dating-mails, but please: u
look REALY very good on this picture! perhaps u should change it. Its ugly, that
in a such amazing club like HC things like that have to be done. For sure it's
not ok, that women have to change theire pictures cause there are some idiots on
HC, but as long as we don't have a reason for this problem it will be hard to
deal with that otherwise. 
I think if I would be a woman and get all these mails, I would post a comment on
theire profiles. just a short message like "memeber xxx is using HC as a dating
site". very unpractical to have someting like that :-)
Reply

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