Hi everybody,

I got my first host in Kreuzlingen of Zurich by a guy, he offer me a really nice
and comfortable single room with a basket of fruits and snacks for welcome my
stay, however, he only dress his only underwear in toilet with totally open door
at my first night stay.  I felt  really shock!!! And being a little scream to
him, his response was surprise about my reaction then said 'What?'

Then he played the same at the second night that dress his only underwear walked
pass by my room and gave me an eye attention. I  shut my door immediately with a
little annoying and scare feeling and never walked out my room in night. After
that his attitude on hosting me were totally cold at all.

Am I played over reaction about his underwear looking???  It is really really
strange and impolite for Chinese woman.  we even not allow our male families
dress like this in front of any female families at home. Is that the culture of
European? Really bad experience for my first stay in a European's house.
However, I got a very good experience with the second Switzerland female host,
we have a lot of good time to share our culture and other interesting things.
Thank God!

Kamchiuchuada,

your replies lets me feel you did not get my point and not that of other people
contributing.

To be more straight to your question: "are all european or then turkish hosts
walking around in underwear in their home when having a different-culture-woman
as a guest?"

Reply: No, they do not!  Clear enough now ?

There is no answer for this once and for all.  People are not to categorize.

It is their right as they are in their own home AND it is very insensitive to do
when having a woman as  guest. Even a woman of the same cultural backgrounds as
her personal bounderies might be crossed.

He could at least ask before hand whether you are ok with so much casual
behaviour, although it feels to me  this would also make you very uncomfortable
as EXPRESSING your feelings in words is what seems not possible for you to do.


My advice here is to be willing to learn this when wanting to travel more. You
cannot expect people to read your mind in all the different ways of life.

Make up your mind whether he has crossed your boundaries or not. You complain
and at the same time find excuses for not needing to act responsible to the
women in this community.

Would you have liked to learn about his behaviour from a woman who has been his
visitor before ?
 

Dear Bettina,

Don't worry, I am not as fool as anybody think. The Kreuzlingen of Switzerland
guy intend to dress his underwear look to test my bounderline as expressing his
bad attemption. I show or speak nothing because I have no idea about European
habit. I took it as an bad experience but was good to know there was no
guarantee who has so many good comments on his profile.

I raise to discuss the topic here, I sure he would read it as he is a senior
member here. Then he might abuse HC a long time. I don't think that it only was
happened to me. I thought so many discussion would give him and other bad guys
as a warning notice. 

See, all positive concern are come from woman like u. These time many guys watch
my profile but no one like to draw a comment here. To them are not a big deal
but I also think the majority of people here would not behave so impolitely
while they host woman in house. 
I don't write that guy's name or put any negative comment on his profile because
really want to give  him a chance to improve his bad behavior and attempt. Also,
I don't like to argue with him once  I put there a negative comment. It is
become more annoying me and waste my time.

I don't think that we all the time can rely on the guests comment in the
profile. Just like me, I have host a lot guests from HC and CS, some of them
really politely wrote me comments once they left, but some of them would like to
write me by my personal email. Some of them just like nothing happen even they
got a lot free service from u, never thanks or wrote anything more once they
left. Some of guests also gave me a lot of trouble but I thought that it was so
hard to write them a negative comment. Firstly, they might already apologize
about their inappropriate behavior ,at least we can give them a chance. Who want
to raise a war because to host some body? It is really annoying me. 

I am really not sure to ask male host again at the future ( but I will try my
best to advoid it. I ask host because I like to contact people and culture not
because free accommodation.) While I saw the guy-pianopiano opinion, I even do
not want to host guy in my house any more. Lastly, I want to say that I hate
racial discrimination or gender bias. But it is sometime a big different from
each other. If any Chinese, Japanese or Korea guy response on this incident, I
think that they have much different.

Any way, thanks again!

Lengthy reply with nothing new.

You are not acting with solidarity towards the women in this community. The way
you described it he clearly abused your trust in him , and you act too mean as
to be willing to warn other women. 

I am sorry for you for the experience AND it seems you just want to catch
attention here in public but never intended to DO something about it.

And yes, most people, men are just watching. The majority of the world is
passive; in general.

I will no more  waste my time on this thread. 

Bettina wrote really nice.she is a real life teacher. I think its not solution
to not host male guests or not host by a male.maybe you must tell your opinion
exactly and your rules to them when you see they acting strange for your mind
and thinks. its not about culture.he could have his pants on all the time but
his mind could be strange.he could walk at his house with short all the time but
he could be a nice person. that person  could be  asian or europan or female
too.and you must fix another alternatives before to be guest of someone.I dont
know why you did not wrote a comment about him about this too.and I dont know
why you continue stayed his house still.is that mean that you were not sure
about anything in your mind?
  .they can wear short in their house its normal for them.its not about
culture.I do not .but I met many people from other countries they have  that
kind of habits .not only on H.C  and as you said it was not a T-back. at least
if you can tell me how was that underwear and which colour  I can imagine how
was look like.