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Forum > Experiences, Anecdotes and Funny Misunderstandings > is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please...
#0 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Sun 02 Oct 05 21:54:30
fredox
Berlin
Germany
Hi Folks,

I spoke to a scandinavian friend of mine the other day. She told me that she
(and all her other female HC buddies) pretty regularly get contacted by (mostly
"older")men trying to woo them some way or another, mostly adding them to their
MSN list, calling them "my little blond angel" etc... I mean OK, HC should be
used to make contact with other people, and if it leads to more than just
"hospitality", fair play. But using it just with the intentention to get laid by
a blonde seems pretty sad, and in my eyes represents a grave violation of the
very essence of what HC is all about. 

Have you had similar experiences? What do you think about it? 

Cheerio.

Freddie 

Reply
#16 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Wed 05 Apr 06 20:47:59
wantoch
Glasgow
United Kingdom
I'm starting to get my feelings hurt!  Am I not worth spamming for sex and
marriage?  But seriously, I was wondering why so many girls seem to have this
problem and I haven't, and I think it's down to 1. not putting direct contact
details, 2. not putting a gorgeous photo, and 3. not specifying who I live with
I guess I did it that way automatically because I'm naturally a little paranoid,
but I guess it was sensible, and I'm happy to give these details after an
introductory email.  
Actually, to clarify about the photo- gorgeous would be hard for me to do, but I
did change the photo I had on couchsurfing from one that was very sweet and
innocent and soft looking (easy prey I guess) to one which is not ugly (I hope)
but a little more grown up and worldy wise maybe?  And it had the desired
effect; I immediately stopped getting manspam.  Seems a small difference, but it
seemed to work.  I do think it's good to have photos btw, it just seems easier
to pick out the people you might be able to connect with.  (I know, the one here
doesn't even show my face- it was the only thing good in the camera at the
time)
p.s.  I don't mind the ads if they help keep HC free (cuz I'm poor), and I don't
even mind if some people do want to invite that kind of attention with enticing
profiles, but I'm always amazed at how some people can miss the distinction!  
Reply
#17 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Wed 05 Apr 06 21:03:54
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
@everyone,
lets all call it a learning experience : This can appear a bit too blunt but
heck; its got to happen sometime to someone somewhere and well, its happening
here! Pity or otherwise, members get to learn to toughen up (damn what a word)
or lighten up if u like. The point is, we can't be like horses with blinkers. We
have to admit this is happening even as I write.

A good solution is report! Even in the best of situations, we find pit-holes.
Prudence would perhaps dictate that one keeps a cool head. What can be really
really pleasurable to a jerk is when his victim feels antagonised. You can tell
any tom, dick or spermy to cheeze off with a wave of the hand, not with words.

Freddie, mean-Mr-Mustard isn't only looking for blonde angels. I mean, what's a
colour to these people anyway?

But hey, its not the end. There's always a new tomorrow. The sky's NOT the
limit. Remember, there are footprints on the moon, man!
cheers
Caesar
Reply
#18 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Fri 07 Apr 06 13:06:21
fake51
Aarhus
Denmark
Hmmmm, keep seeing posts like these in the forum, kinda strange. I mean,
seriously, if it was me receiving spam mails/strange msn calls:
- I would read it if I found it funny, since it's obviously from some pathetic
creep.
- Or I would instantly block the person, report it as spam.

 Either which way, why bother take it personal? Why let it get to you? It's
coming from some creep that doesn't know you anyway. So why be offended?

Fake
Reply
#19 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Sat 08 Apr 06 6:34:57
uaflyer
San Jose
United States of America
Well lets be fair to say this site like other community sites gets a share if
not more of issues.  Some things are only acceptable until it is not
acceptable.

As far as dating: myself and almost everyone I know on HC has either had an
intimate relationship if not many via HC and sites like it.

For MSN or other private contact info, just remove it if it becomes the source
of a problem.

Not to be Hypocrites, but seems it centers more on how its done versus what is
done.
Maybe go as far as saying no kissing or sex at Camps too.
Lets also say no intimate relations of any kind between hosts and guests.
Then break out the bible and beat all those offenders.

Give up on the complete crap of this not being a dating site (This may sound
like a soultion, but the site sure is social) and focus on the issues of
controlling or eliminating bad behavior. (whatever that might be)

We can all go around telling ourselves a label doesn't fit, I have no problems,
I am not bad.  But hey, that doesn't improve anything.

Maybe a guide of some sort to help those who feel they are victims and more
policy to let people know what they are not supposed to be doing here.
Reply
#20 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Sat 08 Apr 06 11:56:27
wantoch
Glasgow
United Kingdom
Kissing at camps!?? Whats wring with you sick weirdos!?  Thats it, I'm sticking
to church outings from now on, I could catch cooties from deviants like you.
Reply
#21 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Sat 08 Apr 06 22:53:49
lauraasia
Maastricht
Netherlands
I agree with uaflyer with a lot of things he said.

My opinion is that finding a date shouldn't be the purpose of using or joining
HC but in the end, all the parties and camps are social situations where young
people have contact with each other, and where young people have contact with
each other, there is going to be kissing and sex, relationships and one night
stands. As long as nobody is being forced it's ok by me. 

I feel like I've said that already before.

Laura :)
Reply
#22 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Sun 09 Apr 06 0:43:11
mayor
London - City of Westminster
United Kingdom
Nobody who does not want to be abused, WONT BE. It's silly. 
on the other side of the water, its pretty common girls looking for accomodation
with males and the other way round is also positive.
the thing is: eyes starting on other eyes......we know the this will end which
is normal. HUMAN BEINGS
Reply
#23 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Sun 09 Apr 06 4:46:29
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
@Rightsaid Fred and everyone,

So taking a leaf out of uaflyer's piece, are we going to re-write the
socializing bible ? Hey, stuff happens and lets agree we're not MORAL POLICE.
Who wrote the code of morality anyway? Or bad behaviour? I believe most of us
are mature adults who know the consequences of their actions. However, having
grown older doesn't necessarily mean having grown up.

I started laughing when I read uaflyer's No kissing at camp line. Where's camp
btw? Kabul?
Cheeze
Caesar
Reply
#24 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Mon 10 Apr 06 11:13:30
tenetsi
Tuusula
Finland
I think I will have to stop kissing my wife now when she is a HC member too. It
is forbidden. Oh my...

Tomi
Reply
#25 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Mon 10 Apr 06 11:21:33
thorgal67
Grimbergen
Belgium
don't worry Tomi, i'm sure we can find some non-members to do the job :) 

Thorgalkuusikymmentäseitsemän

Reply
#26 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Mon 10 Apr 06 12:04:13
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
(((((Frank))))))) Did I read you right??? har har har. Hey, the party's in the
rock capital of the world!! wow.

Frank again, I got an email from a hc member who's now in Srinagar. She's having
a bit of a hiccup getting accustomed (?) to the new surroundings. Understandable
if its only new terrain. But lets bear in mind Srinagar was traveller/tourist
free for like 10 years or so because of security reasons. This year its a lot
better. 

My point is, it would be worth a thought. You're near the himalayas and there
are trips to take to some awesome places! The highest golf course in the world
(even if u dont play golf) and glaciers and beautiful forests. Most interesting
will be to stay in a house-boat on the lake. Its an experience you have only in
Kashmir.

September has a lot of fresh fruit and nuts. You can walk in apple orchards and
eat fresh apples till you cant eat anymore.

Tschuess
Caesar


Reply
#27 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Thu 13 Apr 06 18:39:42
ana_cristina
London - City of London
United Kingdom
Well, it happens. When I receive strange e-mails I just foward them to the HC
volunteers team. I also removed my msn from my profile. It helps a lot.
Reply
#28 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Fri 14 Apr 06 2:54:30
cannis
Querétaro
Mexico
   Strange deja vu ppl !

  I have a feeling either this topic has been around, every once in a while or
everytime new members start spaming/receivingspam from newbies... The point of
that I felt everything in here was already said until Tomi and his wife came
around !   U guys made laugh my a$$ off   !!!   

  cano
Reply
#29 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Sun 16 Apr 06 12:15:29
corsaire1773
Verneuil-sur-Seine
France
Well 'it's happen to me few times  but only by.................gay guys..:( :( 
:(  :(. Even as a man I don't give easily my msn. Some of theirs messages have
been removed by HC moderator. I supposed  some members complained about the guy
as he was really insisting.
I don't care about people if they are gay or not.I can accept any guest, hetero
or homo..no problem until they don't try anything.
Reply
#30 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Mon 24 Apr 06 20:19:11
zsuzsi74
Dietzenbach
Germany
If u get messages on MSN and u feel they abuse u, u can block the person.
Consider it like being looked at on the street. U cant avoid, but it doesnt mean
anything, u dont have to have any conversation with the person. I left my MSN
availability on my profile, coz sometimes this is the way i meet the most
interesting persons. As for abusement, it happened a few times that i blocked
the person ringing me all day and asking for webcam chat without speaking
english, or sendind me some porn icons. I dont report them, they are harmless
sick guys.

Zsuzsi
Reply
#31 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Tue 25 Apr 06 7:38:50
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
Zusuzsi has it worked out: nice way of separating the boys from the men ;)
Reply
#32 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Tue 25 Apr 06 8:48:59
tenetsi
Tuusula
Finland
Frank, have you seen the new pic of my wife in her profile? I hope it will
reduce the amount of kisser wannabes :) At least those who are scared of crazy
people. :) Wel, Estonian food makes wonders...

Tomi
Reply
#33 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Wed 26 Apr 06 9:39:20
thorgal67
Grimbergen
Belgium
@Tomi : is it possible that you don't trust your wife or that she doesn't trust
you ? because I haven't seen that you trusted her on HC.... :)
Reply
#34 is HC abused as a dating site?!? your opinions please... Thu 27 Apr 06 8:24:02
purplesage
Brighton
United Kingdom
I'd trust Vera and her estonian delights! Wow that plate full looks great.
Oops... sorry Vera, you look even better!!!
Caesar
Reply

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